1 day down, 8 to go! Today was pretty easy. We hung out with my parents this morning and just drove home from Chicago this afternoon. Now we are hanging out on the couch for the rest of the night. Nothing is on the agenda until tomorrow night when we are meeting up with some friends for a murder mystery dinner or something. I have no idea what it is, but it sounds fun - anything to distract me. But we might have to bring the progesterone and syringes with us. That'll be interesting. I have no idea where my hubby will be able to give me the shot. The car? Unisex bathroom somewhere? A dark corner or alley? LOL! We'll see. Maybe he'll just do it when we get home. Anyway, my mind is peaceful so far. Staying AWAY from google but staying active on my online groups because they calm me down and I like cheering the other ladies on. Just trying not to obsess at all either way. Usually when I obsess I start to go the negative route, but I have gone the positive route as well - not as damaging, but still not beneficial! I'm sorta bummed because the cycle is almost over and all the excitement and trips up to Chicago will be over. It was so nice being up there so much. Well, maybe we will get a positive result and then the excitement surely will continue!
I spoke with a nurse today regarding my bleeding (which has slowed a lot today) and she confirmed my thought that it was just my cervix. The cervix is very sensitive and is easily damaged when inserting the catheter in to the uterus. No way that it could be from the uterus since all my hormone levels are fine - my uterine lining is not breaking down. So that's good. I should spot for a couple days but then it will stop eventually.
While she was on the phone though she told me that our other embryo that we were waiting on did not make it unfortunately. I feel sort of bad about that, but I'm not sure we would've wanted to go through a frozen cycle with just 1 embryo due to the lower success rates with just 1 - a lot of times they don't survive the thaw. And to freeze it, we would have had to pay a $700 cryopreservation fee and then a $600 storage fee every year thereafter - sort of a lot for just 1 embryo. She insisted that our embryo not making it today had no bearing on what our other embryos are doing inside me though. So that was comforting.
I am so glad that I was not doped up on Valium for my transfer this time. Last time I was so dopey and wasn't able to ask any questions and couldn't absorb what was going on at all. I am generally a relaxed person so I'm not sure why I had to take Valium. The embryo transfer is not painful at all. Since I was fully coherent during the procedure yesterday I could actually see what was going on. My bladder had to be full (it was actually too full and they asked me to remove 1/2 cup prior to the procedure - awful BTW!) and an ultrasound probe was placed on my tummy where my uterus was located. The doctor inserted a speculum into my vagina and opened my cervix somehow (don't know how he did this) and inserted a catheter. They had a big tv screen in the room where they showed our 2 embryos in the petri dish. Then we saw a pipette (or something) come in and gently suck them up. Our RE says "Ok, there they are. Now lets put them inside mom". The embryologist entered the room and squirted them into the catheter and into my uterus. It was hard to see on the ultrasound monitor but I definitely saw one of them hop in. It was really cool!
As the RE was cleaning up I asked him for a success rate given the grade of our blasts and he gave us only 50%. I'm sort of bummed after he gave us a 70% success rate originally - but I have to remember that this is so so so much better than our last cycle. We actually had 2 blasts! And that is huge! Also I don't know what factored in to his assessment of 50% - he probably just pulled it out of the air. So while I'm glad that I know that, it still is sort of disappointing. BUT I'm trying to look at it as the highest REAL chance that we have ever had. They say that couples who struggle with infertility have less than a fraction of 1% chance - if at all - every month of conceiving while normal couples have 12%. So really, 50% is awesome! Just don't know why a "good looking" plus "fair looking" embryo would only give 50% - hence my thought that he just pulled it out of the air. Maybe he wanted to keep my hopes in check. No matter though! Going to get through this week, pray, meditate, enjoy being PUPO, and then get the results next Saturday. The nurse gave us blood and ultrasound orders for beyond the test next Saturday if our test ends up positive, but I can't bring myself to even look at them yet. We'll cross that bridge when we get there!
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