Well, I am 4 weeks 5 days pregnant today. A week ago today I got my first BFP on a home pregnancy test. That was so surreal - and it still seems that way! I still can't believe it. Things have definitely calmed down and I'm focusing on what I should be doing to keep the growing bean inside me healthy. I cleaned my whole house last week with a face mask and gloves on. That was sort of ridiculous - don't want to take any chances though! I quit drinking coffee this week too. I always have at least 1 cup per day (usually not more unless it's the weekend). I had pretty bad withdrawal for the first couple days. I'm better now, but I was just ridiculously stupid and the headaches were really bad. I'm eating better this week too - LOTS of fruit. Same amount of veggies, but fruit just really has been tasting good lately. I've had some bouts of nausea but they haven't lasted long - usually happens in the morning when I have an empty stomach but once I eat a little something it goes away. Generally I feel normal except I am pretty gassy and my uterus is sort of sore - like I've been doing a lot of reverse crunches.
Now that the beta tests are over, I am sort of feeling uneasy without the reassurance every couple days. But I just have to trust that everything is still okay. That's the only thing I can do. My RE told me that I didn't have to wear my estrogen patches anymore. It was SO nice to be done with those! Really didn't like those - even would go as far to say that they are worse than the daily progesterone shots! Still need to do those shots though. They will probably go on for another couple weeks - possibly until I'm 12 weeks (more likely 8-10 weeks)! That's okay though. Like I said, they don't bother me too much. My hubby has gotten really good at it. Just a slight pinch and that's it - very rarely do I bleed anymore. In the beginning I was bleeding with every shot. Maybe my ass is adjusting or something. It's really funny though how routine it has become for my hubby to stab me with a 2" needle in my ass every night. LOL! It will be good material for inflicting guilt when our kid is a deviant teenager = "but I took 45 shots in the ASS just so that you could be born! So you're going to do such and such...!"
I have another blood test next Tuesday. It is mainly to check my progesterone level but they threw on the beta too just for kicks. It's not required and I don't even know what it should be at 5 weeks 3 days, but we'll see. After the first couple days of pregnancy the doubling rate starts to level off. So I really have no idea what it should be. Really a better indicator at the 5-6 week stage is an ultrasound showing a sac and possibly a flicker of a heartbeat. But my first ultrasound is not until Wednesday March 13th - a little less than 2 weeks away. Ugh, it sounds so far away! 2 weeks ago today was our embryo transfer and that seems like ages ago!
Anyway at the ultrasound they will see what is in there, note the presence of a sac, measure the size, and note any heartbeat that is seen. I will be 6 weeks 4 days at that point so we'll see! I feel like I am in another 2 week wait for sure though - just as intense as the initial 2 week wait between egg retrieval and 1st beta test. If, God forbid, nothing is seen at the ultrasound, it will be determined that I had a "chemical pregnancy" - that is when most miscarriages occur; at the very early stages and is usually caused by either inadequate hormonal support or chromosomal abnormalities in the embryo. There is no way to prevent them - all that can be done is to ensure that high quality embryos are transferred but even then, chemicals still happen. There are estimates that about 50-60% of all pregnancies end in chemical pregnancies (or CP) and that a lot of women mistake them for a late period. But us IVFers are so in tune to everything, we find out at the exact moment that our embryos have implanted and then we watch the entire pregnancy with microscopic detail. Some of us will even rent or buy at-home doppler monitors so we can listen for the heartbeat whenever we want to! So CPs may seem more common with IVF but they occur at no higher rate than regular pregnancies - they are just caught more often with IVF pregnancies. The good news is that once a heartbeat is seen/heard, the pregnancy is classified as a "clinical pregnancy" and risk for miscarriage goes down considerably. If we reach this stage we will not be out of the woods yet though. We will have another ultrasound a week or two after the initial ultrasound to make sure the baby is still growing - but after that and if things are looking good, we have an excellent chance of carrying the baby to term!
So I'm spending the next two weeks trying to stay sane, continuing praying, meditating, and assuming I am pregnant and acting accordingly. Hopefully the wait goes fast and we get good news!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
2nd beta result!
Second beta is at 575! WHOOHOO!! RE is really pleased with that number AND said I can stop putting on my estrogen patches! YAY! I loath those things!
The last couple hours I was really freaking out though and actually ended up calling the clinic instead of the other way around. LOL! I was at work waiting for my phone to ring from about 1pm - 3:45pm and knew that when I finally got the call, I would have to scurry out of my cubicle to a private conference room - bound to attract attention. The only alternative would have been me talking to the nurse in my cubicle. Then EVERYONE would know because there is no such thing as a private conversation in our cubicles! So I went to a private location and called them - plus I wanted to make sure that they even got my results because they usually call by 3pm or so and it was 3:55pm and still no word! My clinic here closes at 4pm so I still had time to call them and tell them to re-fax the results if the Chicago clinic hadn't received anything yet. ANYWAY, turned out to be not a big deal. They had my results and they said that everything looked great. PHEW!
My first ultrasound is in 2 weeks. I will be 6.5 weeks then and possibly may see the heartbeat (probably not hear it yet - I don't know, need to do some research on that one). I need to get my progesterone level checked again next week and I will get another beta done too. The 3rd beta isn't required, but the nurse said I could do it if it would give me peace of mind since my next check on the actual pregnancy isn't for another 2 weeks.
So today I feel safe to post the pics of Batman and Robin. The blast on the top is Batman; Robin is the one on the bottom!
The last couple hours I was really freaking out though and actually ended up calling the clinic instead of the other way around. LOL! I was at work waiting for my phone to ring from about 1pm - 3:45pm and knew that when I finally got the call, I would have to scurry out of my cubicle to a private conference room - bound to attract attention. The only alternative would have been me talking to the nurse in my cubicle. Then EVERYONE would know because there is no such thing as a private conversation in our cubicles! So I went to a private location and called them - plus I wanted to make sure that they even got my results because they usually call by 3pm or so and it was 3:55pm and still no word! My clinic here closes at 4pm so I still had time to call them and tell them to re-fax the results if the Chicago clinic hadn't received anything yet. ANYWAY, turned out to be not a big deal. They had my results and they said that everything looked great. PHEW!
My first ultrasound is in 2 weeks. I will be 6.5 weeks then and possibly may see the heartbeat (probably not hear it yet - I don't know, need to do some research on that one). I need to get my progesterone level checked again next week and I will get another beta done too. The 3rd beta isn't required, but the nurse said I could do it if it would give me peace of mind since my next check on the actual pregnancy isn't for another 2 weeks.
So today I feel safe to post the pics of Batman and Robin. The blast on the top is Batman; Robin is the one on the bottom!
Monday, February 25, 2013
Another beta test tomorrow
Tomorrow marks the day of another hurdle to be met before we can start to really get comfortable with this whole pregnancy thing. I have beta #2 in the morning. I am expecting to have to wait all day again for the results - similar to the wait on Saturday - except now I will be at work and will have to pretend like I'm working. LOL! Not looking forward to it. Hopefully it is good news though! I will try to sweet-talk the phlebotomist in to calling me with the results if possible. I don't know though. Our embryo (the one that I'm assuming attached) was of good quality so that generally is a good predictor of how well it will do once it implants. Trying to think positively, but I'm freaked out yet again!
So my RE likes to see a doubling time somewhere around 72 hours (or 2-3 days) or less. Doubling time is the rate at which the hCG level doubles. So if my hCG level doubles every 72 hours, my level tomorrow will be around 292. Hopefully it is more than that, but I think that's the minimum number. Of course I'll need confirmation from the nurse when they call on what my number means. If it is 250, probably not a big deal but they may order another test for me to do in a couple days. But if it is 200 or less, probably not good. Anyway, trying HARD not to think about it. Hopefully everything will be fine and they'll tell me when we can schedule the first ultrasound (assuming that will be sometime next week).
Stay tuned!!
So my RE likes to see a doubling time somewhere around 72 hours (or 2-3 days) or less. Doubling time is the rate at which the hCG level doubles. So if my hCG level doubles every 72 hours, my level tomorrow will be around 292. Hopefully it is more than that, but I think that's the minimum number. Of course I'll need confirmation from the nurse when they call on what my number means. If it is 250, probably not a big deal but they may order another test for me to do in a couple days. But if it is 200 or less, probably not good. Anyway, trying HARD not to think about it. Hopefully everything will be fine and they'll tell me when we can schedule the first ultrasound (assuming that will be sometime next week).
Stay tuned!!
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Drumroll please.....
FINALLY my clinic called. I'm officially pregnant!! hCG level is 3x as high as the minimum number for 14 dpo so that's great! I'm at 146. I have another test on Tuesday to confirm numbers are doubling like they need to and as long as that is good, they'll schedule an ultrasound for me at around the 5-6 week mark.
My hubby immediately asked if my number meant I was having triplets. LOL! No, it's not high enough for that. There is a beta results website where you can look up betas that other women have had for singleton, twin, and triplet pregnancies: http://www.betabase.info/ So according to this site, my 1st beta is above the median of 103 for day 14.
Once I get my second number on Tuesday, I'll be able to determine the doubling time - the test of a viable pregnancy. There is a calculator on this site: http://www.ivfconnections.com/forums/content.php/751-Use-Our-Beta-hCG-Calculator-to-Understand-Your-IVF-Beta-Levels
More info on betas: http://www.ivfconnections.com/forums/content.php/209-Beta-hCG-Values-and-Facts
So 1 more hurdle down, 3 more to go. But we are looking good for sure! I have to go order more progesterone so hubby can continue poking me with a 2" needle for 8 more weeks. Awesome!
And of course this makes it feel even more official:
My hubby immediately asked if my number meant I was having triplets. LOL! No, it's not high enough for that. There is a beta results website where you can look up betas that other women have had for singleton, twin, and triplet pregnancies: http://www.betabase.info/ So according to this site, my 1st beta is above the median of 103 for day 14.
Once I get my second number on Tuesday, I'll be able to determine the doubling time - the test of a viable pregnancy. There is a calculator on this site: http://www.ivfconnections.com/forums/content.php/751-Use-Our-Beta-hCG-Calculator-to-Understand-Your-IVF-Beta-Levels
More info on betas: http://www.ivfconnections.com/forums/content.php/209-Beta-hCG-Values-and-Facts
So 1 more hurdle down, 3 more to go. But we are looking good for sure! I have to go order more progesterone so hubby can continue poking me with a 2" needle for 8 more weeks. Awesome!
And of course this makes it feel even more official:
Friday, February 22, 2013
I did it again!
Okay, I said I wouldn't but I couldn't help it. I POASed again;) I wanted to compare to yesterday's from the same time! That's my excuse anyway. So here it is, darkest yet I think! Now I can relax for 12 more hours;P
This morning's tests
These are the tests from this morning:
@ 5am:
and @ 8am:
The lines are not any darker from yesterday evening's so that has me paranoid. But people have been telling me to chill out and that I shouldn't see too much of a difference within a 12 hour period. The consensus is that I should test one more time tomorrow before beta and that's it. I'm just so paranoid about having a chemical pregnancy now. That's where an embryo attaches but doesn't last long and sort of peters out. It happens 20-30% of the time with all pregnancies. But I just have to let it run it's course now. It is most definitely out of my hands. Going to be doing a lot of meditating in the next couple days and praying for strength, that is for sure!
So I feel really not normal today. It's possible that one reason is that I did not sleep well. I woke up at 3am having to pee (a normal occurrence for the last couple days) but put it off until 5am when I POASed for the first time today. Then tried to go back to sleep til 8am but couldn't really cuz I was worried about my faint line. My pulse feels like it's racing, I'm hungry but nothing sounds good, I'm shaky, dizzy, and just feel sick - like vomit sick. If it's not from lack of sleep, it's possible it could be from progesterone & estrogen, or maybe from my nerves being frazzled, or maybe they really are preggo symptoms. Ugh! All I know is that tomorrow afternoon can't get here soon enough. I tried to move up my beta test to today but the nurse wouldn't have it. They have a specific number that they want to see for tomorrow and it would not apply today. I let out a long "okaaaay" when she said that and she laughed and said not to worry - positive tests will still be positive tomorrow. Don't know how she knows that - don't think she does actually, was probably just trying to reassure me.
@ 5am:
and @ 8am:
The lines are not any darker from yesterday evening's so that has me paranoid. But people have been telling me to chill out and that I shouldn't see too much of a difference within a 12 hour period. The consensus is that I should test one more time tomorrow before beta and that's it. I'm just so paranoid about having a chemical pregnancy now. That's where an embryo attaches but doesn't last long and sort of peters out. It happens 20-30% of the time with all pregnancies. But I just have to let it run it's course now. It is most definitely out of my hands. Going to be doing a lot of meditating in the next couple days and praying for strength, that is for sure!
So I feel really not normal today. It's possible that one reason is that I did not sleep well. I woke up at 3am having to pee (a normal occurrence for the last couple days) but put it off until 5am when I POASed for the first time today. Then tried to go back to sleep til 8am but couldn't really cuz I was worried about my faint line. My pulse feels like it's racing, I'm hungry but nothing sounds good, I'm shaky, dizzy, and just feel sick - like vomit sick. If it's not from lack of sleep, it's possible it could be from progesterone & estrogen, or maybe from my nerves being frazzled, or maybe they really are preggo symptoms. Ugh! All I know is that tomorrow afternoon can't get here soon enough. I tried to move up my beta test to today but the nurse wouldn't have it. They have a specific number that they want to see for tomorrow and it would not apply today. I let out a long "okaaaay" when she said that and she laughed and said not to worry - positive tests will still be positive tomorrow. Don't know how she knows that - don't think she does actually, was probably just trying to reassure me.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
OMG there's another line!
Okay I am freaking out! It's official, sign me up for the looney bin for SURE!
So for the past 6 hours I've been thinking about nothing but POASing. I was so close to just going across the street to CVS to buy some HPTs but restrained myself. I held it for about 2 hours and by the time I got home I was ready to burst! I could barely get the HPT and rip it open before I started peeing! So I peed on it, set it aside, continued the rest of my pee (which took a good minute - really had to go!), and then checked it. A line is supposed to appear within 3 minutes and low and behold it was already there! The first couple minutes consisted of disbelief, I thought I was seeing things. Hubby came in and confirmed the second line. "Yea! That's a line!" he said. OMGOMGOMG!!! And so commenced the frantic texting to my family who were anxiously waiting. About 15 minutes later, my phone quieted down and I've had time to take a breath. Wow!! That really wasn't what I was expecting. I am crampy - but not really period-like crampy. I was getting a headache on the way home - a symptom of my period coming - and just had so many doubts. But there is definitely a line, no doubt about that. Right now, I am pregnant!
So now begins more anxiety and terror! LOL! I told hubby that I want to go to Walmart and buy 10 boxes of tests so I can POAS everytime I go pee from now until my beta test on Saturday. I'm just in disbelief. We've jumped over another hurdle and have 4 more to go. First we have the beta this Saturday. If that's positive then they do another beta on Monday. If that is still positive AND the number doubles in an amount that our RE likes to see then they schedule an ultrasound to see if there is a sac (or two!) at 5-6 weeks. If that goes okay, then a 2nd ultrasound is done to see the heartbeat at about 7 weeks. I'll be able to take a breath then - but not quite. The first trimester is when most miscarriages happen and many people do not "announce" the news until they reach the 2nd trimester. IVF pregnancies are especially fragile. So 1st trimester is over at 12 weeks. Then maybe I'll relax.
Now I'll really have to use the "One Day at a Time" mentality! So today, I am pregnant:) I've never gotten this far before and that is HUGE! We'll deal with tomorrow when it gets here!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
6dp5dt
Almost reached for a HPT when I got home but I resisted! I am going to wait until tomorrow evening. Ideally I would test in the morning with FMU (first morning's urine) because that has not been diluted but I would technically be less than 7dp5dt tomorrow morning. Fertilization happened during the afternoon of Feb 9th so truly 7dp5dt would put me at tomorrow afternoon. I'll just hold it for a couple hours before I go home from work. I just told hubby that I was going to POAS tomorrow. He got annoyed like I knew he would, but said I can do whatever I want. So I'll take him up on that;) I have a box of 3 FRERs so the plan is to POAS tomorrow night, Friday night, and Saturday morning. By then I will have a good idea what the result will be and my anxiety will be eased considerably going in to beta test and while I'm waiting.
Also thinking about buying P90X today or tomorrow so I have my plan B ready to go. If it turns out I can't use it for 9 months, then it'll be ready for me in November! But I don't know, maybe I'll just wait til tomorrow to do that in case I get a BFN. It will cheer me up to buy something fun.
More tomorrow with the results of the first test!
Also thinking about buying P90X today or tomorrow so I have my plan B ready to go. If it turns out I can't use it for 9 months, then it'll be ready for me in November! But I don't know, maybe I'll just wait til tomorrow to do that in case I get a BFN. It will cheer me up to buy something fun.
More tomorrow with the results of the first test!
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
5dp5dt
Okay, I'm starting to get a bit nutty. What a difference a day makes! LOL! I'm a member of Fertility Friend (a charting website) and I just spent the last hour analyzing my symptoms that I've had (or haven't had) on my cycles for the past 2 years and comparing them to this cycle. I guess I'm trying to convince myself that I had all these same symptoms on all my other cycles where I did not get pregnant. But I'm also seeing symptoms that I usually have by now (headache, backache, bloating, acne), but don't have yet. My boobs are starting to feel sore which is very common on all my cycles, I'm very gassy (not bloated though and not common), was constipated yesterday and part of today (not common, but solved that recently though;)), also my smell has been much better the last couple days. I made popcorn after work today and it was the first time that I smelled anything really strongly since back in November. So I don't know what that's all about.
I posted the embryo timeline earlier to remind myself that if things are going well in the batcave, one or both of the embryos would begin secreting hCG tomorrow. Hence, a preggo test would not detect anything today. And I do not want to start testing at an insanely early date. Fertility Friend also has a gallery of positive pregnancy tests and even at 12dpo (days past ovulation - I am 10dpo), the FRER (First Response Early Result) tests are super super faint! Also even though FRER tests can detect hCG as early as 6 days before a missed period (my period is due Sunday (I think) if I wasn't on progesterone), that would put me at yesterday where the test could detect hCG. LOL! I was only 4dp5dt or 9dpo yesterday. I just find it hard to believe that the test can detect anything that early! It does say on the box though that 100% of positive results were seen at 4 days before a missed period - which would be tomorrow for me. UGH! Does that include IVF cycles I wonder??
In another attempt to deter me from POASing (peeing on a stick) I'm assuming that on beta day if preggo, my hCG level will be about 50 (that's the minimum level that they look for). hCG levels double every 48 hours at the most. So if my level is 50 on Saturday, then on Thursday it will be 25 - which is what FRERs can detect. However if I was preggo right now, my level would only be 12.5 - not detectable. So what's the point of wasting the test?? Of course lots of women get betas in the 100s so in that case, I would see a result sooner.
And of course, my hubby is very against testing early. If I was to test today - or even tomorrow - and it was negative or positive, I'd have to tell him because... well I just can't keep secrets from him... and he would be so mad! LOL! Whereas if I took a test Thursday evening or Friday morning, maybe he'd be more receptive - he'd still be annoyed though. He says that's it's my attempt to control the situation. I just want to know though! I have no desire to control - sure I want a baby, but I KNOW that I can't do anything about it at this point especially. If anything, my problem is the lack of ability to control myself!
I don't know! We'll see how I feel tomorrow. Maybe I will have a busy day at work so I'll be able to be distracted.
Time to go make dinner!
I posted the embryo timeline earlier to remind myself that if things are going well in the batcave, one or both of the embryos would begin secreting hCG tomorrow. Hence, a preggo test would not detect anything today. And I do not want to start testing at an insanely early date. Fertility Friend also has a gallery of positive pregnancy tests and even at 12dpo (days past ovulation - I am 10dpo), the FRER (First Response Early Result) tests are super super faint! Also even though FRER tests can detect hCG as early as 6 days before a missed period (my period is due Sunday (I think) if I wasn't on progesterone), that would put me at yesterday where the test could detect hCG. LOL! I was only 4dp5dt or 9dpo yesterday. I just find it hard to believe that the test can detect anything that early! It does say on the box though that 100% of positive results were seen at 4 days before a missed period - which would be tomorrow for me. UGH! Does that include IVF cycles I wonder??
In another attempt to deter me from POASing (peeing on a stick) I'm assuming that on beta day if preggo, my hCG level will be about 50 (that's the minimum level that they look for). hCG levels double every 48 hours at the most. So if my level is 50 on Saturday, then on Thursday it will be 25 - which is what FRERs can detect. However if I was preggo right now, my level would only be 12.5 - not detectable. So what's the point of wasting the test?? Of course lots of women get betas in the 100s so in that case, I would see a result sooner.
And of course, my hubby is very against testing early. If I was to test today - or even tomorrow - and it was negative or positive, I'd have to tell him because... well I just can't keep secrets from him... and he would be so mad! LOL! Whereas if I took a test Thursday evening or Friday morning, maybe he'd be more receptive - he'd still be annoyed though. He says that's it's my attempt to control the situation. I just want to know though! I have no desire to control - sure I want a baby, but I KNOW that I can't do anything about it at this point especially. If anything, my problem is the lack of ability to control myself!
I don't know! We'll see how I feel tomorrow. Maybe I will have a busy day at work so I'll be able to be distracted.
Time to go make dinner!
Embryo Timeline
3 Day Transfer
1dpt ..embryo is growing and developing
2dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst
3dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
4dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
5dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
6dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
7dpt.. Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells
8dpt...Placenta cells begin to secrete HCG in the blood
9dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
10dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
11dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT
5 day transfer
-1dpt ..embryo is growing and developing
0dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst
1dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
2dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
3dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
4dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
5dpt.. Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells
6dpt...Placenta cells begin to secrete HCG in the blood
7dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
8dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
9dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT
1dpt ..embryo is growing and developing
2dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst
3dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
4dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
5dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
6dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
7dpt.. Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells
8dpt...Placenta cells begin to secrete HCG in the blood
9dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
10dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
11dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT
5 day transfer
-1dpt ..embryo is growing and developing
0dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst
1dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
2dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
3dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
4dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
5dpt.. Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells
6dpt...Placenta cells begin to secrete HCG in the blood
7dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
8dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
9dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT
Monday, February 18, 2013
4dp5dt
Four days down, five days to go! Ugh! No symptoms of any sort. Just have some mild cramping but I am told that is normal for both positive and negative cycles. Oh and I had to pee a lot today, but that's what happens when you drink more fluids...duh! Last time I was really focused on every twinge, pinch, flutter and those feelings didn't result in a BFP. I'm of the opinion that everything felt during the 2ww can be explained by the ovaries shrinking down to a normal size, uterus expanding more than usual with the enormous doses of estrogen and progesterone to encourage a thicker than normal lining to develop, or simply from gas or constipation from all the hormones screwing up the body's natural digestive balance. So this time, I'm just ignoring "symptoms". Of course I pat my tummy from time to time, try to swear less in case they can hear me, keep my blood pressure at a reasonable level (aka - no road rage:D), and avoid jarring movements so the embies don't get scared, but other than that, it's life as usual for me this week! I just got back from acupuncture where they were very optimistic but I just really don't want to get my hopes up! Somehow a box of 3 First Response preggo tests ended up in my grocery cart this weekend;) I said that I would not test, but I'm thinking that by Thursday, I'm going to be pretty anxious. My acupuncturist said that even if it's a false negative, my anxiety levels will go down so if there is a sticky embryo in there, I won't compromise it with the stress of waiting. So I have not discussed this with my hubby yet (he will be against it) but I think I'm going to use one Thursday or Friday. These are the super sensitive tests so they should be able to pick up something by 7dp5dt (Thursday). And like my acupuncturist confirmed, even if it is negative I think it will help me relax until I get the official number Saturday afternoon. So until then, just biding my time, trying to stay focused at work, and enjoying the end of February - which means spring will be hear soon:))
Friday, February 15, 2013
1dp5dt (1 day past 5 day transfer)
1 day down, 8 to go! Today was pretty easy. We hung out with my parents this morning and just drove home from Chicago this afternoon. Now we are hanging out on the couch for the rest of the night. Nothing is on the agenda until tomorrow night when we are meeting up with some friends for a murder mystery dinner or something. I have no idea what it is, but it sounds fun - anything to distract me. But we might have to bring the progesterone and syringes with us. That'll be interesting. I have no idea where my hubby will be able to give me the shot. The car? Unisex bathroom somewhere? A dark corner or alley? LOL! We'll see. Maybe he'll just do it when we get home. Anyway, my mind is peaceful so far. Staying AWAY from google but staying active on my online groups because they calm me down and I like cheering the other ladies on. Just trying not to obsess at all either way. Usually when I obsess I start to go the negative route, but I have gone the positive route as well - not as damaging, but still not beneficial! I'm sorta bummed because the cycle is almost over and all the excitement and trips up to Chicago will be over. It was so nice being up there so much. Well, maybe we will get a positive result and then the excitement surely will continue!
I spoke with a nurse today regarding my bleeding (which has slowed a lot today) and she confirmed my thought that it was just my cervix. The cervix is very sensitive and is easily damaged when inserting the catheter in to the uterus. No way that it could be from the uterus since all my hormone levels are fine - my uterine lining is not breaking down. So that's good. I should spot for a couple days but then it will stop eventually.
While she was on the phone though she told me that our other embryo that we were waiting on did not make it unfortunately. I feel sort of bad about that, but I'm not sure we would've wanted to go through a frozen cycle with just 1 embryo due to the lower success rates with just 1 - a lot of times they don't survive the thaw. And to freeze it, we would have had to pay a $700 cryopreservation fee and then a $600 storage fee every year thereafter - sort of a lot for just 1 embryo. She insisted that our embryo not making it today had no bearing on what our other embryos are doing inside me though. So that was comforting.
I am so glad that I was not doped up on Valium for my transfer this time. Last time I was so dopey and wasn't able to ask any questions and couldn't absorb what was going on at all. I am generally a relaxed person so I'm not sure why I had to take Valium. The embryo transfer is not painful at all. Since I was fully coherent during the procedure yesterday I could actually see what was going on. My bladder had to be full (it was actually too full and they asked me to remove 1/2 cup prior to the procedure - awful BTW!) and an ultrasound probe was placed on my tummy where my uterus was located. The doctor inserted a speculum into my vagina and opened my cervix somehow (don't know how he did this) and inserted a catheter. They had a big tv screen in the room where they showed our 2 embryos in the petri dish. Then we saw a pipette (or something) come in and gently suck them up. Our RE says "Ok, there they are. Now lets put them inside mom". The embryologist entered the room and squirted them into the catheter and into my uterus. It was hard to see on the ultrasound monitor but I definitely saw one of them hop in. It was really cool!
As the RE was cleaning up I asked him for a success rate given the grade of our blasts and he gave us only 50%. I'm sort of bummed after he gave us a 70% success rate originally - but I have to remember that this is so so so much better than our last cycle. We actually had 2 blasts! And that is huge! Also I don't know what factored in to his assessment of 50% - he probably just pulled it out of the air. So while I'm glad that I know that, it still is sort of disappointing. BUT I'm trying to look at it as the highest REAL chance that we have ever had. They say that couples who struggle with infertility have less than a fraction of 1% chance - if at all - every month of conceiving while normal couples have 12%. So really, 50% is awesome! Just don't know why a "good looking" plus "fair looking" embryo would only give 50% - hence my thought that he just pulled it out of the air. Maybe he wanted to keep my hopes in check. No matter though! Going to get through this week, pray, meditate, enjoy being PUPO, and then get the results next Saturday. The nurse gave us blood and ultrasound orders for beyond the test next Saturday if our test ends up positive, but I can't bring myself to even look at them yet. We'll cross that bridge when we get there!
I spoke with a nurse today regarding my bleeding (which has slowed a lot today) and she confirmed my thought that it was just my cervix. The cervix is very sensitive and is easily damaged when inserting the catheter in to the uterus. No way that it could be from the uterus since all my hormone levels are fine - my uterine lining is not breaking down. So that's good. I should spot for a couple days but then it will stop eventually.
While she was on the phone though she told me that our other embryo that we were waiting on did not make it unfortunately. I feel sort of bad about that, but I'm not sure we would've wanted to go through a frozen cycle with just 1 embryo due to the lower success rates with just 1 - a lot of times they don't survive the thaw. And to freeze it, we would have had to pay a $700 cryopreservation fee and then a $600 storage fee every year thereafter - sort of a lot for just 1 embryo. She insisted that our embryo not making it today had no bearing on what our other embryos are doing inside me though. So that was comforting.
I am so glad that I was not doped up on Valium for my transfer this time. Last time I was so dopey and wasn't able to ask any questions and couldn't absorb what was going on at all. I am generally a relaxed person so I'm not sure why I had to take Valium. The embryo transfer is not painful at all. Since I was fully coherent during the procedure yesterday I could actually see what was going on. My bladder had to be full (it was actually too full and they asked me to remove 1/2 cup prior to the procedure - awful BTW!) and an ultrasound probe was placed on my tummy where my uterus was located. The doctor inserted a speculum into my vagina and opened my cervix somehow (don't know how he did this) and inserted a catheter. They had a big tv screen in the room where they showed our 2 embryos in the petri dish. Then we saw a pipette (or something) come in and gently suck them up. Our RE says "Ok, there they are. Now lets put them inside mom". The embryologist entered the room and squirted them into the catheter and into my uterus. It was hard to see on the ultrasound monitor but I definitely saw one of them hop in. It was really cool!
As the RE was cleaning up I asked him for a success rate given the grade of our blasts and he gave us only 50%. I'm sort of bummed after he gave us a 70% success rate originally - but I have to remember that this is so so so much better than our last cycle. We actually had 2 blasts! And that is huge! Also I don't know what factored in to his assessment of 50% - he probably just pulled it out of the air. So while I'm glad that I know that, it still is sort of disappointing. BUT I'm trying to look at it as the highest REAL chance that we have ever had. They say that couples who struggle with infertility have less than a fraction of 1% chance - if at all - every month of conceiving while normal couples have 12%. So really, 50% is awesome! Just don't know why a "good looking" plus "fair looking" embryo would only give 50% - hence my thought that he just pulled it out of the air. Maybe he wanted to keep my hopes in check. No matter though! Going to get through this week, pray, meditate, enjoy being PUPO, and then get the results next Saturday. The nurse gave us blood and ultrasound orders for beyond the test next Saturday if our test ends up positive, but I can't bring myself to even look at them yet. We'll cross that bridge when we get there!
PUPO! (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise)
The transfer went well! We had 2 blasts transferred. One the RE graded as a B (on an A-D scale) and the other he gave a C-. I don't know why he wouldn't give the actual grades. That's alright though because if he had, I'd probably be obsessively googling for blasts with that grade. They did give us a picture which hubby was not too pleased about, but it's still cool to see. I won't be posting the picture on here unless I get a positive result. Last time getting the picture sorta made me see the embryos as something more than they were so it was more painful when we got the BFN. This time though, I am looking at them more like "cellular bundles". But that didn't stop me from naming them! I have named them Batman & Robin because I just think its funny to picture them as superheroes. The 'B' grade made me think of Batman and his lesser quality - but just as fierce - sidekick Robin! So they are hanging out in the batcave right now hopefully trying to figure out how to implant themselves and grow in to real humans:P
We have 1 other embryo that made it to day 5 but it was a bit slow (classified as a morula). So RE left it in the incubator to see what it does within the next day and then will see if we should freeze the lil guy. They will call us Saturday to let us know if it survived. So fingers crossed!
All in all, this cycle has gone well so far. We have at least 2 blasts - not the best quality, but they are still blasts which is key. So I'm happy with that! Our beta test is next Saturday. Seems so soon, but that's about right - 2 weeks after our egg retrieval.
So today I just hung out on the couch all day and let hubby wait on me. Something I wasn't prepared for was the amount of bleeding though. Last time I had zero bleeding. This time I've gone thru 2 pantiliners in the past 8 hours - kind of a lot for not having a period. I doubt it's coming from my uterus due to all the hormones my body is on and I don't feel crampy. It's likely from my cervix or vagina. Maybe it got irritated during the transfer or something? Whatever the case, I need to call RE tomorrow before we go back home to Chicago to make sure that the amount of bleeding I'm experiencing is okay. Of course I started bleeding after the office was closed:/
We have 1 other embryo that made it to day 5 but it was a bit slow (classified as a morula). So RE left it in the incubator to see what it does within the next day and then will see if we should freeze the lil guy. They will call us Saturday to let us know if it survived. So fingers crossed!
All in all, this cycle has gone well so far. We have at least 2 blasts - not the best quality, but they are still blasts which is key. So I'm happy with that! Our beta test is next Saturday. Seems so soon, but that's about right - 2 weeks after our egg retrieval.
So today I just hung out on the couch all day and let hubby wait on me. Something I wasn't prepared for was the amount of bleeding though. Last time I had zero bleeding. This time I've gone thru 2 pantiliners in the past 8 hours - kind of a lot for not having a period. I doubt it's coming from my uterus due to all the hormones my body is on and I don't feel crampy. It's likely from my cervix or vagina. Maybe it got irritated during the transfer or something? Whatever the case, I need to call RE tomorrow before we go back home to Chicago to make sure that the amount of bleeding I'm experiencing is okay. Of course I started bleeding after the office was closed:/
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Transfer day
Well it's transfer day! We need to leave in an hour and a half. I'm starting to get nervous but managing to keep my mind off it somewhat. I think it will be really nice to have acupuncture to calm me down a bit. Hopefully everything will go well. Then it'll be bedrest for the rest of the day!
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Transfer scheduled
Thank you God! That's so funny. I wrote the last post, finished it, and they called:P So we're good to go for tomorrow. We go there at 12:45pm and arrive an hour earlier so I can have my acupuncture done on site. Procedure is at 1pm, we hang out for a hour after to let the embies settle down and then we get discharged. Then for the rest of the day I am to stay off my feet unless I am going to the bathroom. The nurse didn't have any details regarding our embies but they wouldn't have made our appointment if things didn't look good. So yea, mild relief for now....until tomorrow morning:P
Why haven't they called??
Ugh! Why haven't they called yet?! They said yesterday that they would call today to schedule our embryo transfer appointment tomorrow. But it's 2:20pm their time and they haven't called yet. Does that mean something? Are they waiting to see what our embies do in the next couple hours before they schedule - aka are they slow? I guess that's my main fear. That a transfer won't happen tomorrow. I knew I would be like this but with them not calling, it makes it worse. The mind can create some pretty bad scenarios if you let it. I would call them myself but I can't keep my hands and voice from shaking I'm so nervous! Ugh this SUCKS!! My stomach is very unhappy. Just another couple hours and surely I'll know something. But I don't wanna board the dog and start going up to Chicago if its not even gonna happen tomorrow! Trying to let this go is just not working at the moment! Please God, ease my mind!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
And then there were 7!
We got a call from our RE's office this morning telling us that we could stay home today. They are pushing us to a 5 day transfer on Thursday because we still have 7 embryos that are looking good! This is great news! Our last cycle we only had 2 of 6 embryos on day 3 and those 2 were slow. If all 7 were slow this RE would have had us come in today because sometimes the slow growers have issues - not always, but statistically they don't do as well as the fast/normal growers. The nurse couldn't give me any details regarding the number of cells and fragmentation percentage on our embryos - just that 7 were still good and they were recommending a day 5 transfer. So now we just keep our fingers crossed that they continue developing and we have some blastocysts on Thursday. But 87.5% of our embryos made it to day 3 vs. only 33% last time - so that's a great increase! This is a good link with more info regarding blasts and their benefits: http://www.advancedfertility.com/blastocy.htm. And another link with our clinics' success rate with blastocyst transfers: http://www.advancedfertility.com/blastocystpregnancyrates.htm. Of course this depends on if our embryos can reach that stage - but if they do, it looks very promising for a positive result!
So the rollercoaster continues on. The times when I'm nervous and anxious are the low points and the high points are when I get good news. Most of stimming was high, after trigger was low - got pretty nervous about what they were going to get, after egg retrieval - high, waiting for fertilization results - low, getting fert results - high, waiting for day 3 report - low, getting day 3 report - high, and it will go on and on and on! This time tomorrow I'll be low again probably. My meditation CDs are helping a lot, working on letting go and trusting God and our doctor is helping too. But realizing that whatever I am feeling is okay is a big one too. I am thinking about IVF related things pretty much all the time, but that is normal and it is okay. As long as I am not jeopardizing other areas of my life by googling too much, obsessing about pregnancy symptoms, taking pregnancy tests every time I go to pee, or thinking damaging, negative thoughts, I am doing good. I'm going to go in for acupuncture tomorrow, continuing with blogging, and am getting back in to walking the dog since my pain is nearly gone so those will help with the stress too. Plus, work is going to be busy starting next week. I still am not sure when my beta blood test will be though. I keep on forgetting to ask! It's almost better that I don't know the date actually:))
Something annoying though was that I was puking this morning. I almost never do that. I made an egg sandwich and was halfway thru eating it when I felt icky. My hubby ate the same thing I did and he was fine so I don't think it was the sandwich. I drank some oj that was open in the fridge for the past week - so it should still be ok but I did have my doxycycline (antibiotic to prevent infection after ER) on an empty stomach which I guess you are not supposed to do and I had to change my estrogen patches this morning. So I don't know, hoping it's something related to that or just an isolated incident. It was unpleasant though. I ate lunch a couple hours ago and I have kept it down so far - so fingers crossed that it stays down and this doesn't happen again! Maybe it was a free preview of morning sickness:D
So the rollercoaster continues on. The times when I'm nervous and anxious are the low points and the high points are when I get good news. Most of stimming was high, after trigger was low - got pretty nervous about what they were going to get, after egg retrieval - high, waiting for fertilization results - low, getting fert results - high, waiting for day 3 report - low, getting day 3 report - high, and it will go on and on and on! This time tomorrow I'll be low again probably. My meditation CDs are helping a lot, working on letting go and trusting God and our doctor is helping too. But realizing that whatever I am feeling is okay is a big one too. I am thinking about IVF related things pretty much all the time, but that is normal and it is okay. As long as I am not jeopardizing other areas of my life by googling too much, obsessing about pregnancy symptoms, taking pregnancy tests every time I go to pee, or thinking damaging, negative thoughts, I am doing good. I'm going to go in for acupuncture tomorrow, continuing with blogging, and am getting back in to walking the dog since my pain is nearly gone so those will help with the stress too. Plus, work is going to be busy starting next week. I still am not sure when my beta blood test will be though. I keep on forgetting to ask! It's almost better that I don't know the date actually:))
Something annoying though was that I was puking this morning. I almost never do that. I made an egg sandwich and was halfway thru eating it when I felt icky. My hubby ate the same thing I did and he was fine so I don't think it was the sandwich. I drank some oj that was open in the fridge for the past week - so it should still be ok but I did have my doxycycline (antibiotic to prevent infection after ER) on an empty stomach which I guess you are not supposed to do and I had to change my estrogen patches this morning. So I don't know, hoping it's something related to that or just an isolated incident. It was unpleasant though. I ate lunch a couple hours ago and I have kept it down so far - so fingers crossed that it stays down and this doesn't happen again! Maybe it was a free preview of morning sickness:D
Sunday, February 10, 2013
We have fertilization!
We got our call this afternoon from the RE. Out of 13 retrieved, 8 eggs were mature and 8 fertilized! That's a 100% fertilization rate! WHOOHOO!! Trying not to be bummed about having 5 immature eggs. I was expecting for some of them to be immature - but not that many. Wasn't expecting that high of a fert rate though. Last time we got 75% - I wonder if this is evidence of the better lab quality?? So things definitely look good and hopefully we will have some good embryos develop out of these original "elite 8" embies:) Who knows - maybe we will have them all go to day 5 and will be able to transfer 2 and freeze 6 for later! Realistically though they say to expect that 1/3 of embies that fertilize to be able to reach blastocyst stage on day 5. Last time we had 0% reach that stage on day 5 so there is certainly room for improvement there! Saying my prayers that we have some reach that stage this round - but of course thanking God too for this initial "breath of life" that He has given them.
We will get a call from our RE on Tuesday morning no later than 10am and he will tell us if he wants us to come in that day for a 3 day transfer or come in Thursday for a 5 day blastocyst transfer. A 5dt is preferable because that will mean that we have more embryos looking good on day 3. Also, embryos that have developed in to blasts and survived to day 5 will have proven that they are strong enough to continue growing once transferred back to the uterus. Another benefit is that it's easier to pick out the best embryos when they are in the blastocyst stage. But a 3dt is good as well if the number of embryos at that point is low enough to warrant that kind of transfer. Most good 3 day embryos have 6-8 cells and have low fragmentation - but plenty of "ugly" 3 day embryos make healthy babies too. It's all in being able to pick out the best embryo for transfer. If on day 3 we only have 3 embryos left, chances are good that the 2 embryos they pick will be the strongest - but if we still have 8 embryos, it will be harder to pick the embryos that will be the strongest and in that case we would do a 5dt.
So my priority for this week is to stay away from google and "let go and let God". We have done everything that we can at this point and now it is in the hands of our doctor and God to allow the embryos develop so that we end up with the baby that we were meant to have. I am pushing questions regarding my egg quality from my mind for now since there is nothing I can do about that right now. There will be plenty of time to analyze that later if I need to. For now, I am going to just relax!
We will get a call from our RE on Tuesday morning no later than 10am and he will tell us if he wants us to come in that day for a 3 day transfer or come in Thursday for a 5 day blastocyst transfer. A 5dt is preferable because that will mean that we have more embryos looking good on day 3. Also, embryos that have developed in to blasts and survived to day 5 will have proven that they are strong enough to continue growing once transferred back to the uterus. Another benefit is that it's easier to pick out the best embryos when they are in the blastocyst stage. But a 3dt is good as well if the number of embryos at that point is low enough to warrant that kind of transfer. Most good 3 day embryos have 6-8 cells and have low fragmentation - but plenty of "ugly" 3 day embryos make healthy babies too. It's all in being able to pick out the best embryo for transfer. If on day 3 we only have 3 embryos left, chances are good that the 2 embryos they pick will be the strongest - but if we still have 8 embryos, it will be harder to pick the embryos that will be the strongest and in that case we would do a 5dt.
So my priority for this week is to stay away from google and "let go and let God". We have done everything that we can at this point and now it is in the hands of our doctor and God to allow the embryos develop so that we end up with the baby that we were meant to have. I am pushing questions regarding my egg quality from my mind for now since there is nothing I can do about that right now. There will be plenty of time to analyze that later if I need to. For now, I am going to just relax!
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Egg Retrieval
I went in for egg retrieval today. Everything went great and they got 13 eggs! That's 3 more than last time - so far so good! They will call tomorrow with our fertilization results. We are using ICSI so hopefully it will be a good result.
Friday, February 8, 2013
Triggering!
Well, it's day 9 of stims and I'm already triggering (inducing ovulation)! I am doing a Lupron/HCG trigger. I have no idea why I'm doing a combo-type trigger - just Lupron can be used as a trigger for women who are over-responders. Usually just an HCG trigger is used but puts some women over the edge and in to the land of OHSS. Anyway, I took my first shot of Lupron 1/2 hour ago and I need to take the HCG shot in another 1/2 hour. I'm very tired. It's 1:45am. The HCG has to go in at precisely 2:10am. Then I have a blood draw at my clinic at 8am tomorrow morning. Ugh! Hopefully I can sneak in a nap when I get home since I'll be working at home tomorrow. I am too uncomfortable to wear regular office clothes. More importantly, there are just too many people who are sick in my office right now. I was surrounded by sneezy, coughing, mucus oozing people today and I was constantly slathering the hand sanitizer and washing my hands, opening doors/touching things in the kitchen with my elbows. Heh Heh. I just really can't afford to get sick right now! So I'm staying home in my disease-free home tomorrow and staying in my sweat pants too.
Saturday is my egg retrieval. It also happens to be my 34th birthday! I hope I get a good birthday present - lots of eggs! We are going up tomorrow night and the procedure is at 12:10pm Saturday. I won't be able to drive for 24 hours after so we'll go back home Sunday afternoon. We should get a call sometime Sunday to let us know how many eggs were mature and how many were fertilized. And that will be the start of the dreaded "2 week wait" - the wait between egg retrieval/fertilization and the pregnancy blood test.
Well, time to start mixing up my HCG!!
Saturday is my egg retrieval. It also happens to be my 34th birthday! I hope I get a good birthday present - lots of eggs! We are going up tomorrow night and the procedure is at 12:10pm Saturday. I won't be able to drive for 24 hours after so we'll go back home Sunday afternoon. We should get a call sometime Sunday to let us know how many eggs were mature and how many were fertilized. And that will be the start of the dreaded "2 week wait" - the wait between egg retrieval/fertilization and the pregnancy blood test.
Well, time to start mixing up my HCG!!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Plan B?
Something else I was thinking about today is our plan B. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow and she gave me an assignment last time to think about our plan B since that was one of the things that kept my sanity in check last time - we had a plan B which was simply to try again. Now it's a bit different because at the end of this cycle we will have exhausted our infertility limit (BUT not our medication limit) on our insurance. So even if everything goes well (have good eggs, good embryos, uterus looks good, etc), but we still end up with no pregnancy, I don't know if we will be able to do another cycle this year.
If we get a negative result, the best scenario would be that we would have frozen embryos that we could use on a cycle in the near future. These cycles cost a lot less so we could feasibly do a cycle right away. But it is much harder for an embryo to even get to the point where they can be frozen - and then there is the thawing process that is difficult. The good thing though is that an embryo that survives to the point of freezing AND makes it thru the thawing process will be a very strong embryo and has a very good chance of turning into a viable pregnancy. Our clinic's success rates are very good for frozen cycles too.
If we don't have "frosties" then we will have to consider why we had no frosties. Did we have bad embryos, bad eggs, or did they look good, but just didn't survive to freeze stage? If they looked good but just didn't make it, then I would think that we would consider trying again perhaps this year since we still have money left for medications.
But if our embryos were bad, especially considering that we eliminated the question with lab quality by switching REs, this would be a situation where our plan B would be embryo adoption or donor eggs/sperm or even regular adoption. The therapist mentioned that sometimes her clients get a lot of relief by learning more about the "worst case scenario" (in our case - adoption) and then realizing that it is not as scary as it seems and actually applying for it eases a lot of anxiety. My fear with adoption though is that I just feel like no birth mother would ever pick my hubby and I. And what happens with open/closed adoption, etc? Feels like the adoptive parents don't have many rights nowadays. Or maybe that is my ignorance talking. I just hear all the horror stories about couples shelling out thousands and waiting years and years to just have an adoption process fall apart. Or the birth mother changes her mind after giving birth. I hear about so many of these things and as sad as it is because I know there are a lot of needy kids out there, the red tape of it all just scares me and makes me not want to do it at all! So really - if we have bad eggs, embryos, whatever - I think our plan B would be embryo adoption and maybe apply for regular adoption at the same time. We'd see what happens.
It's really hard to have a plan B when the plan depends on the type of negative result we might get. I guess for now too I can look at plan B as all the things I will be able to do if we get a negative result that preggo ladies cannot do. With the money we save in diapers, hubby and I could take a vacation, long road trip, etc. I can sign up for some sprint triathlons this summer, 5ks, mud races, etc. Get my bikini body back!
If we get a negative result, the best scenario would be that we would have frozen embryos that we could use on a cycle in the near future. These cycles cost a lot less so we could feasibly do a cycle right away. But it is much harder for an embryo to even get to the point where they can be frozen - and then there is the thawing process that is difficult. The good thing though is that an embryo that survives to the point of freezing AND makes it thru the thawing process will be a very strong embryo and has a very good chance of turning into a viable pregnancy. Our clinic's success rates are very good for frozen cycles too.
If we don't have "frosties" then we will have to consider why we had no frosties. Did we have bad embryos, bad eggs, or did they look good, but just didn't survive to freeze stage? If they looked good but just didn't make it, then I would think that we would consider trying again perhaps this year since we still have money left for medications.
But if our embryos were bad, especially considering that we eliminated the question with lab quality by switching REs, this would be a situation where our plan B would be embryo adoption or donor eggs/sperm or even regular adoption. The therapist mentioned that sometimes her clients get a lot of relief by learning more about the "worst case scenario" (in our case - adoption) and then realizing that it is not as scary as it seems and actually applying for it eases a lot of anxiety. My fear with adoption though is that I just feel like no birth mother would ever pick my hubby and I. And what happens with open/closed adoption, etc? Feels like the adoptive parents don't have many rights nowadays. Or maybe that is my ignorance talking. I just hear all the horror stories about couples shelling out thousands and waiting years and years to just have an adoption process fall apart. Or the birth mother changes her mind after giving birth. I hear about so many of these things and as sad as it is because I know there are a lot of needy kids out there, the red tape of it all just scares me and makes me not want to do it at all! So really - if we have bad eggs, embryos, whatever - I think our plan B would be embryo adoption and maybe apply for regular adoption at the same time. We'd see what happens.
It's really hard to have a plan B when the plan depends on the type of negative result we might get. I guess for now too I can look at plan B as all the things I will be able to do if we get a negative result that preggo ladies cannot do. With the money we save in diapers, hubby and I could take a vacation, long road trip, etc. I can sign up for some sprint triathlons this summer, 5ks, mud races, etc. Get my bikini body back!
Day 7 of stims
Well, I've been shooting up for almost a week now! Doesn't seem like it - the time has flown by. I had another monitoring appointment this morning. This time I had an u/s tech who was much more gentle with my organs. She saw 18 follicles, 13 were over 10mm, 2 were over 15mm! Great for day 7. And my estrogen is 1481 which is reasonable I guess because I'm maintaining my doses of medications and don't have to get monitored tomorrow. Yay!! Comparing to day 7 of my last cycle, my estrogen was higher by about 400 and I had fewer and smaller follicles. So seems like things are going much better!
I am really feeling things though! I have to hold the sides of my abdomen when walking around so that my ovaries don't move around as much and the cramps are starting in my uterus (understandable since my lining today was already at 11.8mm. 2 days ago it was 4.8mm and the goal is 15mm). My boobs are also KILLING me! If I had more hands I'd be holding them too when walking around. LOL! Ovaries trump the boobs though and it is less conspicuous if I am holding my stomach versus holding my boobs while walking around the office:)) That would get some eyebrows raised in my male-dominated office full of engineers.
Something I learned today that is exciting is that my clinic (AFCC) has the 3rd highest success rate in the country for donor eggs at 80% http://fertilitysuccessrates.com/report/United-States/egg-donation/data.html! It's even higher than CCRM (Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine)! To put it in perspective, my former clinic had 56%. The reason why that number interests me at this point is that I've been reading that you can tell a lot about the quality of the lab by that number. Since a cycle involving donor eggs is tricky on so many fronts, a clinic with a high donor egg success rate means they have good quality control in place.
I am really feeling things though! I have to hold the sides of my abdomen when walking around so that my ovaries don't move around as much and the cramps are starting in my uterus (understandable since my lining today was already at 11.8mm. 2 days ago it was 4.8mm and the goal is 15mm). My boobs are also KILLING me! If I had more hands I'd be holding them too when walking around. LOL! Ovaries trump the boobs though and it is less conspicuous if I am holding my stomach versus holding my boobs while walking around the office:)) That would get some eyebrows raised in my male-dominated office full of engineers.
Something I learned today that is exciting is that my clinic (AFCC) has the 3rd highest success rate in the country for donor eggs at 80% http://fertilitysuccessrates.com/report/United-States/egg-donation/data.html! It's even higher than CCRM (Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine)! To put it in perspective, my former clinic had 56%. The reason why that number interests me at this point is that I've been reading that you can tell a lot about the quality of the lab by that number. Since a cycle involving donor eggs is tricky on so many fronts, a clinic with a high donor egg success rate means they have good quality control in place.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Day 5 of stims
Today is day 5 of stims and things are going good!
My first monitoring appointment was yesterday up in Chicago. That went well and hubby dropped off his homies at the lab. It was horrible getting to Chicago due to the snow that developed overnight and early morning Saturday but we made it in one piece. There were lots of accidents though! Going back home was not bad at all. Hopefully the weather is better next time we go up! Anyway, they looked at me, saw that my ovaries were responding and my E2 was a bit high at 526 so they lowered my dose for yesterday.
Went in for monitoring in Indy this morning and got butchered by the ultrasound tech! Ugh! That was the first time that it really hurt. She said that she couldn't see my ovary but the tech yesterday had no problem. Whatever, I survived! Anyway, I have about 4-5 follicles ranging from 9mm to 11mm and 12 or so follicles at less than 9mm. Nurse said that was good and said my e2 was 875 which is a good rise - but not too high. Yay!
So I'm stimming tonight and tomorrow still at a lowered dose but adding in low-dose HCG (to help with egg maturation) and starting ganirelex (to prevent premature ovulation) tomorrow night. I won't have to go in for monitoring tomorrow (yay!) but will go back in Tuesday. I am definitely starting to feel my ovaries. Sorta weird because last time I didn't feel a thing but was stimming way faster than I am now. Maybe this time my body has a chance to recognize what's going on and is allowing my pain nerves to kick in. I'm not in pain though - just 'aware' of my ovaries.
Well, I'm off to go shoot up!!
My first monitoring appointment was yesterday up in Chicago. That went well and hubby dropped off his homies at the lab. It was horrible getting to Chicago due to the snow that developed overnight and early morning Saturday but we made it in one piece. There were lots of accidents though! Going back home was not bad at all. Hopefully the weather is better next time we go up! Anyway, they looked at me, saw that my ovaries were responding and my E2 was a bit high at 526 so they lowered my dose for yesterday.
Went in for monitoring in Indy this morning and got butchered by the ultrasound tech! Ugh! That was the first time that it really hurt. She said that she couldn't see my ovary but the tech yesterday had no problem. Whatever, I survived! Anyway, I have about 4-5 follicles ranging from 9mm to 11mm and 12 or so follicles at less than 9mm. Nurse said that was good and said my e2 was 875 which is a good rise - but not too high. Yay!
So I'm stimming tonight and tomorrow still at a lowered dose but adding in low-dose HCG (to help with egg maturation) and starting ganirelex (to prevent premature ovulation) tomorrow night. I won't have to go in for monitoring tomorrow (yay!) but will go back in Tuesday. I am definitely starting to feel my ovaries. Sorta weird because last time I didn't feel a thing but was stimming way faster than I am now. Maybe this time my body has a chance to recognize what's going on and is allowing my pain nerves to kick in. I'm not in pain though - just 'aware' of my ovaries.
Well, I'm off to go shoot up!!
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