Well, I am 4 weeks 5 days pregnant today. A week ago today I got my first BFP on a home pregnancy test. That was so surreal - and it still seems that way! I still can't believe it. Things have definitely calmed down and I'm focusing on what I should be doing to keep the growing bean inside me healthy. I cleaned my whole house last week with a face mask and gloves on. That was sort of ridiculous - don't want to take any chances though! I quit drinking coffee this week too. I always have at least 1 cup per day (usually not more unless it's the weekend). I had pretty bad withdrawal for the first couple days. I'm better now, but I was just ridiculously stupid and the headaches were really bad. I'm eating better this week too - LOTS of fruit. Same amount of veggies, but fruit just really has been tasting good lately. I've had some bouts of nausea but they haven't lasted long - usually happens in the morning when I have an empty stomach but once I eat a little something it goes away. Generally I feel normal except I am pretty gassy and my uterus is sort of sore - like I've been doing a lot of reverse crunches.
Now that the beta tests are over, I am sort of feeling uneasy without the reassurance every couple days. But I just have to trust that everything is still okay. That's the only thing I can do. My RE told me that I didn't have to wear my estrogen patches anymore. It was SO nice to be done with those! Really didn't like those - even would go as far to say that they are worse than the daily progesterone shots! Still need to do those shots though. They will probably go on for another couple weeks - possibly until I'm 12 weeks (more likely 8-10 weeks)! That's okay though. Like I said, they don't bother me too much. My hubby has gotten really good at it. Just a slight pinch and that's it - very rarely do I bleed anymore. In the beginning I was bleeding with every shot. Maybe my ass is adjusting or something. It's really funny though how routine it has become for my hubby to stab me with a 2" needle in my ass every night. LOL! It will be good material for inflicting guilt when our kid is a deviant teenager = "but I took 45 shots in the ASS just so that you could be born! So you're going to do such and such...!"
I have another blood test next Tuesday. It is mainly to check my progesterone level but they threw on the beta too just for kicks. It's not required and I don't even know what it should be at 5 weeks 3 days, but we'll see. After the first couple days of pregnancy the doubling rate starts to level off. So I really have no idea what it should be. Really a better indicator at the 5-6 week stage is an ultrasound showing a sac and possibly a flicker of a heartbeat. But my first ultrasound is not until Wednesday March 13th - a little less than 2 weeks away. Ugh, it sounds so far away! 2 weeks ago today was our embryo transfer and that seems like ages ago!
Anyway at the ultrasound they will see what is in there, note the presence of a sac, measure the size, and note any heartbeat that is seen. I will be 6 weeks 4 days at that point so we'll see! I feel like I am in another 2 week wait for sure though - just as intense as the initial 2 week wait between egg retrieval and 1st beta test. If, God forbid, nothing is seen at the ultrasound, it will be determined that I had a "chemical pregnancy" - that is when most miscarriages occur; at the very early stages and is usually caused by either inadequate hormonal support or chromosomal abnormalities in the embryo. There is no way to prevent them - all that can be done is to ensure that high quality embryos are transferred but even then, chemicals still happen. There are estimates that about 50-60% of all pregnancies end in chemical pregnancies (or CP) and that a lot of women mistake them for a late period. But us IVFers are so in tune to everything, we find out at the exact moment that our embryos have implanted and then we watch the entire pregnancy with microscopic detail. Some of us will even rent or buy at-home doppler monitors so we can listen for the heartbeat whenever we want to! So CPs may seem more common with IVF but they occur at no higher rate than regular pregnancies - they are just caught more often with IVF pregnancies. The good news is that once a heartbeat is seen/heard, the pregnancy is classified as a "clinical pregnancy" and risk for miscarriage goes down considerably. If we reach this stage we will not be out of the woods yet though. We will have another ultrasound a week or two after the initial ultrasound to make sure the baby is still growing - but after that and if things are looking good, we have an excellent chance of carrying the baby to term!
So I'm spending the next two weeks trying to stay sane, continuing praying, meditating, and assuming I am pregnant and acting accordingly. Hopefully the wait goes fast and we get good news!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
2nd beta result!
Second beta is at 575! WHOOHOO!! RE is really pleased with that number AND said I can stop putting on my estrogen patches! YAY! I loath those things!
The last couple hours I was really freaking out though and actually ended up calling the clinic instead of the other way around. LOL! I was at work waiting for my phone to ring from about 1pm - 3:45pm and knew that when I finally got the call, I would have to scurry out of my cubicle to a private conference room - bound to attract attention. The only alternative would have been me talking to the nurse in my cubicle. Then EVERYONE would know because there is no such thing as a private conversation in our cubicles! So I went to a private location and called them - plus I wanted to make sure that they even got my results because they usually call by 3pm or so and it was 3:55pm and still no word! My clinic here closes at 4pm so I still had time to call them and tell them to re-fax the results if the Chicago clinic hadn't received anything yet. ANYWAY, turned out to be not a big deal. They had my results and they said that everything looked great. PHEW!
My first ultrasound is in 2 weeks. I will be 6.5 weeks then and possibly may see the heartbeat (probably not hear it yet - I don't know, need to do some research on that one). I need to get my progesterone level checked again next week and I will get another beta done too. The 3rd beta isn't required, but the nurse said I could do it if it would give me peace of mind since my next check on the actual pregnancy isn't for another 2 weeks.
So today I feel safe to post the pics of Batman and Robin. The blast on the top is Batman; Robin is the one on the bottom!
The last couple hours I was really freaking out though and actually ended up calling the clinic instead of the other way around. LOL! I was at work waiting for my phone to ring from about 1pm - 3:45pm and knew that when I finally got the call, I would have to scurry out of my cubicle to a private conference room - bound to attract attention. The only alternative would have been me talking to the nurse in my cubicle. Then EVERYONE would know because there is no such thing as a private conversation in our cubicles! So I went to a private location and called them - plus I wanted to make sure that they even got my results because they usually call by 3pm or so and it was 3:55pm and still no word! My clinic here closes at 4pm so I still had time to call them and tell them to re-fax the results if the Chicago clinic hadn't received anything yet. ANYWAY, turned out to be not a big deal. They had my results and they said that everything looked great. PHEW!
My first ultrasound is in 2 weeks. I will be 6.5 weeks then and possibly may see the heartbeat (probably not hear it yet - I don't know, need to do some research on that one). I need to get my progesterone level checked again next week and I will get another beta done too. The 3rd beta isn't required, but the nurse said I could do it if it would give me peace of mind since my next check on the actual pregnancy isn't for another 2 weeks.
So today I feel safe to post the pics of Batman and Robin. The blast on the top is Batman; Robin is the one on the bottom!
Monday, February 25, 2013
Another beta test tomorrow
Tomorrow marks the day of another hurdle to be met before we can start to really get comfortable with this whole pregnancy thing. I have beta #2 in the morning. I am expecting to have to wait all day again for the results - similar to the wait on Saturday - except now I will be at work and will have to pretend like I'm working. LOL! Not looking forward to it. Hopefully it is good news though! I will try to sweet-talk the phlebotomist in to calling me with the results if possible. I don't know though. Our embryo (the one that I'm assuming attached) was of good quality so that generally is a good predictor of how well it will do once it implants. Trying to think positively, but I'm freaked out yet again!
So my RE likes to see a doubling time somewhere around 72 hours (or 2-3 days) or less. Doubling time is the rate at which the hCG level doubles. So if my hCG level doubles every 72 hours, my level tomorrow will be around 292. Hopefully it is more than that, but I think that's the minimum number. Of course I'll need confirmation from the nurse when they call on what my number means. If it is 250, probably not a big deal but they may order another test for me to do in a couple days. But if it is 200 or less, probably not good. Anyway, trying HARD not to think about it. Hopefully everything will be fine and they'll tell me when we can schedule the first ultrasound (assuming that will be sometime next week).
Stay tuned!!
So my RE likes to see a doubling time somewhere around 72 hours (or 2-3 days) or less. Doubling time is the rate at which the hCG level doubles. So if my hCG level doubles every 72 hours, my level tomorrow will be around 292. Hopefully it is more than that, but I think that's the minimum number. Of course I'll need confirmation from the nurse when they call on what my number means. If it is 250, probably not a big deal but they may order another test for me to do in a couple days. But if it is 200 or less, probably not good. Anyway, trying HARD not to think about it. Hopefully everything will be fine and they'll tell me when we can schedule the first ultrasound (assuming that will be sometime next week).
Stay tuned!!
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Drumroll please.....
FINALLY my clinic called. I'm officially pregnant!! hCG level is 3x as high as the minimum number for 14 dpo so that's great! I'm at 146. I have another test on Tuesday to confirm numbers are doubling like they need to and as long as that is good, they'll schedule an ultrasound for me at around the 5-6 week mark.
My hubby immediately asked if my number meant I was having triplets. LOL! No, it's not high enough for that. There is a beta results website where you can look up betas that other women have had for singleton, twin, and triplet pregnancies: http://www.betabase.info/ So according to this site, my 1st beta is above the median of 103 for day 14.
Once I get my second number on Tuesday, I'll be able to determine the doubling time - the test of a viable pregnancy. There is a calculator on this site: http://www.ivfconnections.com/forums/content.php/751-Use-Our-Beta-hCG-Calculator-to-Understand-Your-IVF-Beta-Levels
More info on betas: http://www.ivfconnections.com/forums/content.php/209-Beta-hCG-Values-and-Facts
So 1 more hurdle down, 3 more to go. But we are looking good for sure! I have to go order more progesterone so hubby can continue poking me with a 2" needle for 8 more weeks. Awesome!
And of course this makes it feel even more official:
My hubby immediately asked if my number meant I was having triplets. LOL! No, it's not high enough for that. There is a beta results website where you can look up betas that other women have had for singleton, twin, and triplet pregnancies: http://www.betabase.info/ So according to this site, my 1st beta is above the median of 103 for day 14.
Once I get my second number on Tuesday, I'll be able to determine the doubling time - the test of a viable pregnancy. There is a calculator on this site: http://www.ivfconnections.com/forums/content.php/751-Use-Our-Beta-hCG-Calculator-to-Understand-Your-IVF-Beta-Levels
More info on betas: http://www.ivfconnections.com/forums/content.php/209-Beta-hCG-Values-and-Facts
So 1 more hurdle down, 3 more to go. But we are looking good for sure! I have to go order more progesterone so hubby can continue poking me with a 2" needle for 8 more weeks. Awesome!
And of course this makes it feel even more official:
Friday, February 22, 2013
I did it again!
Okay, I said I wouldn't but I couldn't help it. I POASed again;) I wanted to compare to yesterday's from the same time! That's my excuse anyway. So here it is, darkest yet I think! Now I can relax for 12 more hours;P
This morning's tests
These are the tests from this morning:
@ 5am:
and @ 8am:
The lines are not any darker from yesterday evening's so that has me paranoid. But people have been telling me to chill out and that I shouldn't see too much of a difference within a 12 hour period. The consensus is that I should test one more time tomorrow before beta and that's it. I'm just so paranoid about having a chemical pregnancy now. That's where an embryo attaches but doesn't last long and sort of peters out. It happens 20-30% of the time with all pregnancies. But I just have to let it run it's course now. It is most definitely out of my hands. Going to be doing a lot of meditating in the next couple days and praying for strength, that is for sure!
So I feel really not normal today. It's possible that one reason is that I did not sleep well. I woke up at 3am having to pee (a normal occurrence for the last couple days) but put it off until 5am when I POASed for the first time today. Then tried to go back to sleep til 8am but couldn't really cuz I was worried about my faint line. My pulse feels like it's racing, I'm hungry but nothing sounds good, I'm shaky, dizzy, and just feel sick - like vomit sick. If it's not from lack of sleep, it's possible it could be from progesterone & estrogen, or maybe from my nerves being frazzled, or maybe they really are preggo symptoms. Ugh! All I know is that tomorrow afternoon can't get here soon enough. I tried to move up my beta test to today but the nurse wouldn't have it. They have a specific number that they want to see for tomorrow and it would not apply today. I let out a long "okaaaay" when she said that and she laughed and said not to worry - positive tests will still be positive tomorrow. Don't know how she knows that - don't think she does actually, was probably just trying to reassure me.
@ 5am:
and @ 8am:
The lines are not any darker from yesterday evening's so that has me paranoid. But people have been telling me to chill out and that I shouldn't see too much of a difference within a 12 hour period. The consensus is that I should test one more time tomorrow before beta and that's it. I'm just so paranoid about having a chemical pregnancy now. That's where an embryo attaches but doesn't last long and sort of peters out. It happens 20-30% of the time with all pregnancies. But I just have to let it run it's course now. It is most definitely out of my hands. Going to be doing a lot of meditating in the next couple days and praying for strength, that is for sure!
So I feel really not normal today. It's possible that one reason is that I did not sleep well. I woke up at 3am having to pee (a normal occurrence for the last couple days) but put it off until 5am when I POASed for the first time today. Then tried to go back to sleep til 8am but couldn't really cuz I was worried about my faint line. My pulse feels like it's racing, I'm hungry but nothing sounds good, I'm shaky, dizzy, and just feel sick - like vomit sick. If it's not from lack of sleep, it's possible it could be from progesterone & estrogen, or maybe from my nerves being frazzled, or maybe they really are preggo symptoms. Ugh! All I know is that tomorrow afternoon can't get here soon enough. I tried to move up my beta test to today but the nurse wouldn't have it. They have a specific number that they want to see for tomorrow and it would not apply today. I let out a long "okaaaay" when she said that and she laughed and said not to worry - positive tests will still be positive tomorrow. Don't know how she knows that - don't think she does actually, was probably just trying to reassure me.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
OMG there's another line!
Okay I am freaking out! It's official, sign me up for the looney bin for SURE!
So for the past 6 hours I've been thinking about nothing but POASing. I was so close to just going across the street to CVS to buy some HPTs but restrained myself. I held it for about 2 hours and by the time I got home I was ready to burst! I could barely get the HPT and rip it open before I started peeing! So I peed on it, set it aside, continued the rest of my pee (which took a good minute - really had to go!), and then checked it. A line is supposed to appear within 3 minutes and low and behold it was already there! The first couple minutes consisted of disbelief, I thought I was seeing things. Hubby came in and confirmed the second line. "Yea! That's a line!" he said. OMGOMGOMG!!! And so commenced the frantic texting to my family who were anxiously waiting. About 15 minutes later, my phone quieted down and I've had time to take a breath. Wow!! That really wasn't what I was expecting. I am crampy - but not really period-like crampy. I was getting a headache on the way home - a symptom of my period coming - and just had so many doubts. But there is definitely a line, no doubt about that. Right now, I am pregnant!
So now begins more anxiety and terror! LOL! I told hubby that I want to go to Walmart and buy 10 boxes of tests so I can POAS everytime I go pee from now until my beta test on Saturday. I'm just in disbelief. We've jumped over another hurdle and have 4 more to go. First we have the beta this Saturday. If that's positive then they do another beta on Monday. If that is still positive AND the number doubles in an amount that our RE likes to see then they schedule an ultrasound to see if there is a sac (or two!) at 5-6 weeks. If that goes okay, then a 2nd ultrasound is done to see the heartbeat at about 7 weeks. I'll be able to take a breath then - but not quite. The first trimester is when most miscarriages happen and many people do not "announce" the news until they reach the 2nd trimester. IVF pregnancies are especially fragile. So 1st trimester is over at 12 weeks. Then maybe I'll relax.
Now I'll really have to use the "One Day at a Time" mentality! So today, I am pregnant:) I've never gotten this far before and that is HUGE! We'll deal with tomorrow when it gets here!
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