Plan B?

Something else I was thinking about today is our plan B.  I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow and she gave me an assignment last time to think about our plan B since that was one of the things that kept my sanity in check last time - we had a plan B which was simply to try again.  Now it's a bit different because at the end of this cycle we will have exhausted our infertility limit (BUT not our medication limit) on our insurance.  So even if everything goes well (have good eggs, good embryos, uterus looks good, etc), but we still end up with no pregnancy, I don't know if we will be able to do another cycle this year. 

If we get a negative result, the best scenario would be that we would have frozen embryos that we could use on a cycle in the near future.  These cycles cost a lot less so we could feasibly do a cycle right away.  But it is much harder for an embryo to even get to the point where they can be frozen - and then there is the thawing process that is difficult.  The good thing though is that an embryo that survives to the point of freezing AND makes it thru the thawing process will be a very strong embryo and has a very good chance of turning into a viable pregnancy.  Our clinic's success rates are very good for frozen cycles too.

If we don't have "frosties" then we will have to consider why we had no frosties.  Did we have bad embryos, bad eggs, or did they look good, but just didn't survive to freeze stage?  If they looked good but just didn't make it, then I would think that we would consider trying again perhaps this year since we still have money left for medications. 

But if our embryos were bad, especially considering that we eliminated the question with lab quality by switching REs, this would be a situation where our plan B would be embryo adoption or donor eggs/sperm or even regular adoption.  The therapist mentioned that sometimes her clients get a lot of relief by learning more about the "worst case scenario" (in our case - adoption) and then realizing that it is not as scary as it seems and actually applying for it eases a lot of anxiety.  My fear with adoption though is that I just feel like no birth mother would ever pick my hubby and I.  And what happens with open/closed adoption, etc?  Feels like the adoptive parents don't have many rights nowadays.  Or maybe that is my ignorance talking.  I just hear all the horror stories about couples shelling out thousands and waiting years and years to just have an adoption process fall apart.  Or the birth mother changes her mind after giving birth.  I hear about so many of these things and as sad as it is because I know there are a lot of needy kids out there, the red tape of it all just scares me and makes me not want to do it at all!  So really - if we have bad eggs, embryos, whatever - I think our plan B would be embryo adoption and maybe apply for regular adoption at the same time.  We'd see what happens.

It's really hard to have a plan B when the plan depends on the type of negative result we might get.  I guess for now too I can look at plan B as all the things I will be able to do if we get a negative result that preggo ladies cannot do. With the money we save in diapers, hubby and I could take a vacation, long road trip, etc. I can sign up for some sprint triathlons this summer, 5ks, mud races, etc. Get my bikini body back!