Fertilization Report

I've been busy since driving back on Thursday, I didn't have time to post about the fert report. I got a call nice and early at 9:30am. The results were disappointing. Only 5 out of the 11 retrieved were mature. The nurse could not say if the other 6 were just immature or if they were not usable. All she knew was that 6 were discarded. The silver lining with this is that all of the 5 remaining fertilized normally. The next update will be on Tuesday, day 6. Ughhhhhh. Woulda been so much easier to wait if I knew we had a lot of embryos cooking away. But now that we don't, I just have to make-do and pray a lot. There is a good chance though that we might not even make it to transfer given our usual blast rate. I'm ok right now but come Tuesday morning, I will be a mess. Naturally I have a meeting on Tuesday morning when I'll probably get the call. I'm really thinking of just calling in sick that day. I will be a lunatic during the meeting so what's the point?  But on the other hand, all I'll do at home is pace - at least I'll be in the privacy of my own home though.  And if the news is bad, I'll be really glad that I'm at home where I can freely lose it and cry. 

With all that said, right before we left for NJ, we got the notice regarding my infertility benefits. We have quite a bit left over. So far I've used just over half. So now of course I'm thinking of plan b. It all depends on how much insurance pays and who knows what the negotiated rates will be. I'm really tired of being on the ivf roller coaster though. At the same time, after this cycle, our benefits likely won't be totally exhausted if we can't even transfer - but it might be close. So I donno. The benefits for our meds which was separate from medical is gone though and that's kind of a big deal. I donno how much was billed this cycle but at least $4k or so...?  So that would suck to have to pay out of pocket for that. There are programs though that would give discounts. I don't know...that's where my head is at the moment. 

I can't help but be a bit pissed off with the numbers though. Going in to ER I had 12 follicles. And they were concerned with me getting OHSS from my E2 number. How does one go from that to getting just 5 mature eggs??  All the vitamins, acupuncture, meditation, HGH, etc apparently didn't do much considering I have less embryos now than I've ever had before. Even on my first cycle, I had 6 that fertilized. Granted, that was 4 years ago and I was younger but still... what the heck happened??  All I can do is hope and pray that the eggs that did fertilize were all good quality and the trouble we spent to travel to one of the best facilities in the country works out in our favor.