27 week belly pic

How Far Along: 27 weeks

Total Weight Gain:  25 lbs. (goal at 40 weeks is 35 lbs)

Maternity Clothes:  Yup!  Maternity winter coat and had to buy shoes one size up to fit my swollen feet:/

Movement:  Yes, pretty active frequently.  Most active in the evening and after meals.  Kellen saw her kick yesterday evening:)

Sleep:  Sleeping is ok for now outside of needing to pee at least once and Kellen consistently waking us up around 5am to sleep with us due to the monsters in his bedroom.  My maternity pillow is on standby when it gets bad though.

Gender:  GIRL!

Symptoms:  starting to have pubic and tail bone pain, vagina pain, round ligament pain at times, belly button pain (!), carpal tunnel syndrome, hands and feet swelling, leg cramps when sleeping, sore feet, gigantor boobies that both my hubby and my son laugh at:/, back pain, restless leg syndrome in the evenings.

Cravings:  biggest one is cereal.

Things I Miss:  shaving my legs, painting toes, bending over without farting, working out, sushi (!), sitting in my work chair without being in pain, my normal sized boobs, chasing after my son.

Highlight of the Week:  Kellen seeing baby girl kick!

Last Appointment:  11/16 - OB check with doctor

Next Appointment:  Wednesday, 12/14 - OB check-up; Gestational Diabetes check

                                  Thursday, 12/15 - 28 week weight/growth check U/S with MFM

Preggo Lifesavers:  cat/cow yoga pose, nursing tanks, maternity pjs

26 week update

Holy cow I haven't posted in awhile!  No news is good news in this case.  I've had quite a few appointments since my last update at 14 weeks.  At that time, I was still dealing with my SCH and previa, just got done with the NT scan.

I did end up requesting an ultrasound at 16 weeks.  This was done with my OB as opposed to the MFM.  I can't even remember what the outcome of this scan was!  I think this was the one where my SCH was gone.  I still had complete previa - but at least the SCH was not a threat anymore!

At 20 weeks I had my anatomy scan with the MFM.  It was a very in-depth, detailed look at baby.  Everything looked really great.  Perfect everything!  Still no sign of the SCH and the u/s showed that the placenta moved away from my cervix - about 1.5 cm.  This is just shy of the threshold that they use to determine if a c-section is warranted or not.  The doctor believes that the placenta will move even further away as my uterus grows - but in the meantime, all restrictions were lifted!  Just in time for me to start feeling like a sluggish cow;)  But it's still a good sign.

I had my 24 week check a week or 2 ago.  That was just a weight/pee/general check.  My OB listened to baby on the doppler and all was normal.  My weight is tracking a bit high - same as how it was with Kellen.  She is not particularly worried though.  I just have to watch the processed carbs and try to keep things in check.  I'm up to about 147-150 lbs now and I am feeling every ounce of it!  Same as before, I feel like 15 of those lbs are in my boobs alone.  They are enormous!  And they are NOT cute at all.  LOL!  Anyway, my next check will be my 28 week check in 2 weeks.  This will involve an ultrasound to check babies growth and weight (and of course the placenta) at MFM and then a check with my OB.  I will be right on the cusp of the 3rd tri at that point (if not, already in it)!!  This pregnancy has been moving so fast it's unreal.  But when I think back all the way to June, I guess it has been a long time.  Still though, it seems like it has flown by.  Work has been crazy, keeping up with Kellen makes the days fly by, we had his birthday a month ago, then with traveling to 2 sets of families for Thanksgiving, I guess it's easy to see why time has been going quickly.  And with the holidays, this next month will go fast too.  I'm a bit worried about January and February though.  Work is supposed to slow down and there won't be much going on from a personal standpoint either.  Those will be the most uncomfortable months too - so I'll have to just deal with it I guess!

Outside of that, not much else to report.  I feel FAT and large.  I've been feeling her move pretty consistently for the past couple weeks now so the doppler has not been coming out lately.  Luckily I don't seem to have the pelvic pain yet that I had with Kellen at this point.  I think it might be because of the placenta placement and she has been breech on the last couple ultrasounds.  Since the placenta is low, she is forced to sit high in my uterus as opposed to Kellen who was the opposite - placenta was high and he was head down pretty much the whole time.  I'm hoping that she does turn to be head down eventually but at the same time, I'm hoping she is not in a rush.  It makes me nervous about a cord accident due to the placement of the placenta...makes me think that could be more likely as opposed to if the placenta was at her feet while she was head down.  Only time will tell though I suppose.  For now, all is well!

23 week belly pic

Whoa - so late posting this...smh.  This was from 23 weeks and I'm currently 26 weeks...not to mention that we've missed taking the 21, 22, 24, & 25 week pics!  I'll be posting the 26 week pic soon - hopefully tomorrow!

20 week belly pic

Ooops!  Missed 19 weeks:/

Halfway point though!!!

18 week belly pic

17 week belly pic

Gahhh!  Really late posting the next pics!  So very busy though...

16 week belly pic

Missed a week again.  Ooops:/

14 week update - 2nd trimester!

Well, here I am in the 2nd trimester!  YAYAYYYY!!  I feel like I'm coming out of the fog and am starting to feel better.  I don't have to be constantly eating in order to feel okay - so that's good.  Also starting to feel less tired.  Still am tired of course, but not exhausted and needing multiple naps per day.  I am certainly popping out of my pants now.  And popping out of shirts too - partly from my tummy but also from my boobs.  They are massive.  At first it was kind of nice to have full boobs again after my sad, flattened, post-breastfeeding boobs - but they have lost their luster and now they are just heavy and annoying!  I've had to get new bras to fit them as all my other nursing bras that I used with Kellen have disintegrated from using them so much.  Other than the boobs though, this pregnancy is not so bad (for now(!)).  I have not had any bleeding episodes for quite some time... almost 4 weeks I think (!)... although I still spot from time to time, so the pantiliners are still necessary.  Plus, I know that the SCH is still hanging around so, who knows what it will do.

I have only had 2 appointments since my last post.  I had my NT ultrasound at 12 weeks.  They measured the space behind the neck and checked for evidence of the nasal bone.  Both of these parameters were well within normal, strong indicators of no chromosomal abnormality.  Of course, we did have PGS and the embryo was normal - but it's still not 100% and false negatives do happen.  So it's recommended for pregnancies conceived thru IVF/PGS to still go thru 1st trimester screening with a follow up CVS or amniocentesis if there are strong indicators to do so.  Since I am over 35 for this pregnancy, my insurance covers a test called Panorama which is a more accurate blood test than the typical Quad Screen that I had with Kellen.  I won't get in to specific differences, but when combined with the NT u/s, the Panorama test is considered more accurate and will also test gender.  The results come back in 10 business days.  I got my call last Friday and everything came back at a very low risk for abnormalities.  Also, the baby is still a girl:)  Of course the test still isn't a guarantee that NOTHING will be wrong - things happen during development that don't have anything to do with chromosomal abnormalities - but it at least weeds out some of the diseases/issues.

My other appointment was simply a followup with my OB after I had my NT ultrasound.  This was 2 weeks ago.  All was normal.  The doctor listened for the baby's heartbeat - that was detected and was normal.  We did discuss the fact that the SCH was still there - smaller, but still there.  I also have placenta previa (placenta is over my cervix).  This is annoying but the chances are good that the placenta will move out of the way of my cervix as my uterus grows.  I am suspecting that this may be why I haven't had any bleeding recently - maybe the placenta is blocking the blood from getting out...?  I don't know.  Anyway, we discussed both of these issues and my OB is not concerned at all.  She even mentioned that I could consider coming off of pelvic rest.  Of course I don't dare do that - I'm still very uneasy especially with the placenta previa now.  But it's nice to know I have my OB's blessing.

My next appointment is in 2 weeks - the 16 week check.  It will be the same type of visit that I just had - they'll just test my pee, weigh me, have a chat with the OB, and listen to the heartbeat.  No u/s.  I think I will request one though.  I would like to know what is going on with the SCH and my placenta.  I feel like 4 weeks is soooo long between visits!  So the at-home Doppler has been making a frequent appearance.  My son really gets a kick out of finding his sister's heartbeat:)  Other than that, my next u/s will be at 20 weeks - the anatomy scan in mid-October.  Can't believe I'll be at the halfway point in a little over a month!

Here are some pics from the NT ultrasound at 12 weeks (the first is a view of her legs all stretched out:)):

14 week belly pic

I missed taking the 13 week pic but here is 14 weeks!  And I swear I am bigger than this...I must have been inadvertently sucking in, haha!

12 week belly pic

REALLY late posting this one!!  ...my bad...:)

11w5d update

I have been slacking with posting updates.  I have been so incredibly tired though and work has been beating me to a pulp:/  Anyway, I had my follow-up last Wednesday and it occurred to me that I never posted an update.  The baby was looking great!  She is measuring ahead by a couple days and her heartrate was still around 180 bpm.  Very good growth.  She was doing some little punches and kicks...so cute:)  The tech then looked at the SCH.  Still there...stupid thing.  But it's getting smaller.  Closer to 5x2x1 now.  Last time it was 6x2x2.  In the photo below it looks a lot thinner.  I asked the tech where the placenta was.  She said it was on the right and the SCH was on the left.  But then my OB later contradicted that - so who knows.  My doctor office treated last Wednesday as my offical initial OB appointment and replaced the one that was scheduled for this past Monday.  Because it was my initial visit, after my ultrasound, then I got bloodwork (basic pregnancy bloodwork plus checks of iron levels due to the bleeding), got weighed (gained 2 lbs so far), took a pee test, and then I met with my OB.  The doctor who I had for Kellen has unfortunately retired.  Pretty bummed about that.  I loved her.  She was so incredibly calming.  My new OB is pretty young (pretty sure she's younger than me - which actually doesn't say much now as I'm 37 now:/).  My former OB was more motherly while this new OB is more like a girlfriend.  It's just a first impression but she seems kinda uppity too.  I still like her though and she was very reassuring about everything.  Said she bets the SCH goes away by 20 weeks and in the meantime, continue with what I'm doing.  As long as the baby is growing well, I can continue with just taking it easy, pelvic rest, no heavy lifting, etc.  She also said that while I can come in whenever I need to be reassured with a doppler heartbeat or ultrasound, I don't need to come in weekly anymore since the baby is doing so well.  If I have another red bleed though, definitely call and come in.  So I feel like I'm being taken care of now finally!  I am still taking my progesterone suppository only in the evening now and will continue until I run out.  My OB said that would be totally fine.

My next appointment is next Monday with the high risk OB.  Then I'll follow up with my regular OB next Wednesday.  We discussed 1st trimester screening and decided that I would do the NT ultrasound and blood test (panorama or similar).  Even though our embryo is a CCS normal embryo, my RE still recommends that at least 1st trimester screening and possibly an echo at 16-20 weeks is still done as it detects other issues such as spinea bifida and other non-chromosomal issues such as heart, kidney, and other organ defects, etc.  So that's what I'll do.  It's covered by insurance and is like an extra ultrasound.  Plus with my SCH, I want the high risk people to take a look at it and give me some feedback.  Their equipment is much more advanced and they will be able to tell where the SCH is in relation to the placenta.  So fingers crossed for that on Monday!  This will be the first u/s that hubby is going to.  With starting a new job and the unpredictability regarding lengths of appointments etc, he has not been able to go to my other ultrasounds.  The ones prior to the OB ultrasounds would have been just frustrating for him though cuz I'm sure they would've made him stand behind the screen.

All in all, I'm feeling pretty positive about things.  I have only been spotting sporadically - no red bleeding for almost 2 weeks.  I did start bleeding a bit 2 days after my check in week 9 - but that was short lived.  I will be 12 weeks on Sunday - nearing a milestone.  Week 12 is considered the "safe zone" when all the major organs have finished their crucial development stage.  Now further development will take place, but the most crucial phase is what happens in the 1st trimester.  Like I said, I'm still on progesterone.  I am also routinely nauseous and am definitely showing now.  I am so very tired of taking it easy and being afraid though, wondering if this pregnancy is going to last.  I try to push those thoughts far back into my mind, but they still sneak up on me from time to time.  I'm actually nervous to use my at home doppler in case I cannot find anything.  I found Kellen's at about 10 weeks but if I use it now I think I will truly have a nervous breakdown if I can't find anything.  So I might look for it right after my appointment next Monday.  That way I will be reassured if I can't find the heartrate at home since I just saw it on the screen.  Once I find it the first time, it'll be easier to find the next time I try to listen to the heartbeat and I think it will really help ease my mind if I happen to have more bleeding episodes.

Anyway, that's all for now I think as it's getting late.  Below is the pic of last week's ultrasound.  Baby's head is on the right and the SCH is on the left.

11 week belly pic

10 week belly pic

Trying to do the pics a little differently this time:)  This was from last Sunday.  30 more belly pics to go!

Bleeding again - 9w4d update

This week was the first week in awhile that I didn't have an ultrasound and bloodwork on Tuesday.  It was somewhat unsettling.  But ever since last week, I've really started to feel pregnant.  I've popped out of my regular pants and am in maternity pants now and I'm getting nauseous pretty consistently in the morning and when my stomach is empty.  My boobs are also getting bigger and hurt.  So now that I have symptoms, it made me feel better about not checking up on the baby.

On Wednesday night, I went to bed and all was normal.  Since starting the suppositories, my spotting has gotten really light - definitely have more discharge though which is expected with the suppositories.  But later that night around 3am, I woke up and felt like I was leaking.  I got up and went to the bathroom, feeling more liquid coming out as I walked.  I didn't turn the light on in the bathroom, but could see a large dark puddle in my underwear.  So, then the light went on.  Sure enough - bright red and a lot of it was in my underwear.  I completely soaked thru the pantiliner I had on.  So out came the monster pads and I cleaned myself up as much as I could.  I wasn't gushing or anything - I think it had gradually pooled up in my vagina as I was sleeping and eventually spilled out with more coming out as I got up.  Same as with other bleeding episodes, the bleeding was more of a consistent dribble, no clots this time though.  After reassuring myself that this was just the SCH acting up, I went back to bed.  Of course I couldn't sleep though as I was paranoid I would leak all over my clothes and sheets and was just worried in general.  I was cramping a bit too - but it was just mild cramping and nothing really painful.  I got up twice more at about 45 minute intervals.  Each time was similar to the first time - although I hadn't soaked thru the monster pads, I still changed them since they were pretty wet.  The last time I got up, my flow was more of a drip.....drip.....drip instead of a dribble though so that made me feel better and I eventually fell asleep at around 6am.

I woke a couple hours later in the morning and didn't have much on my pad.  Although I could still feel myself leaking slightly, it wasn't anything like what I had earlier.  I still called up my OB though and they wanted me to come in later that morning for a US and a follow up with the on-call doctor (my OB was on vacation).  I went in shortly after dropping my son off at daycare and went in to ultrasound pretty quickly.  It was so incredibly refreshing to do this in my OB office now!  There was a large monitor for me to see everything and they had audio capabilities.  The tech immediately looked at the baby - no wasting time with an abdominal ultrasound first and checking my ovaries etc.  The baby looked great.  She was waving her little arms and legs around and her heartrate was a strong 181 bpm.  Finally heard the audio of her heartbeat and it was amazing!:)  Nothing like that sound... Anyway, after taking some quick growth measurements and noting that everything was consistent with 9w4d, she moved on to my SCH.  My SCH is now long and crescent shaped and lies around part of the amniotic sac.  It was not clear the relation of the SCH to the placenta, but it seems like there's a good chance that it is between the uterine wall and the placenta.  After talking to the doc, we just have to wait and see regarding placement of the placenta as it is still moving around (or rather my uterus is expanding and taking the placenta with it).  The SCH grew though - not surprising due to the bleeding I had.  It is now 6x2x2cm.  The tech noted that there were areas of light grey, indicating that it might be trying to heal.  But apparently, the SCH is not affecting the baby at this point.

I then went and met with the on-call OB and discussed the results with her.  She reiterated what the tech said - baby looked great.  Then we got in to the SCH.  She confirmed that it did grow and that unfortunately there is nothing we can do - just wait and see what happens.  She said that there are SCHs that are large and stick around for entire pregnancies and don't harm the baby - but then there are small SCHs that pop up and cause a miscarriage.  They are unpredictable in how large they will get and how long they will stick around.  Basically she said that as long as the baby is growing well, she is not concerned about the size or placement and that often times they will resolve as the baby gets larger.  She said that in the meantime I should remain on pelvic rest, continue to take it easy, & avoid heavy lifting.  She is recommending that I come in weekly though to monitor the baby and the SCH.  That is fine with me!  So I will go back in next Wednesday afternoon and will meet with my regular OB afterward.  Since yesterday, I have had only light spotting.  Hopefully it stays that way!  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the lil bugger gets smaller and that lil miss still looks as good as she did yesterday.

Here's her pic (head is on the top and the SCH is surrounding the top 3rd of the sac - the dark crescent shape):

8w2d update

I never got a chance to post an update on my ultrasound last week.  I was 8w2d last Tuesday and went in for ultrasound and bloodwork.  My RE office said that as long as all looked well, I would be released to my OB that day and would switch from the PIO butt shots to progesterone suppositories.  My ultrasound went well, baby looked great and my SCH had not changed much from the previous week.  It was 3x2x1cm - considered small to moderate size.  My bloodwork took longer to process as they forgot to run it as a STAT result.  Eventually it got there last Wednesday.  All was great with my numbers too and they gave me my instructions regarding switching progesterone types and how to receive my records.  It was very anti-climatic.  I didn't even speak to my regular nurse to say goodbye/thank you.  But like I said before - I wasn't there to make friends.  So... oh well I guess!

I then called my OB and got scheduled for my first appointment.  Their first opening was almost 3 weeks away!  Ugh!  Such a long time to wait.  Even though we have a CCS normal embryo transferred, it is still recommended to do the same 1st and 2nd trimester screening for abnormalities that I did last time with Kellen.  I was assured that there would still be time to do the NT ultrasound and bloodwork that goes along with that.  I think the range is b/n 11 and 14 weeks to get that done.  I'll be 11w when I go in for my first OB appt - so we should be ok.  They also said that if I experienced anymore red bleeding that I should call and let them know.  But brown spotting is ok and expected with an SCH.

So I started taking the suppositories and said goodbye to the PIO and all the needles:)  The suppositories are kinda gross but once I started taking them, my spotting seemed to get really light.  So that made me happy.

Here is a pic of baby girl (her head is on the left):

Gender! It's a.....

GIRL!!!!

We found this out quite some time ago but only started letting people know last week once we saw a heartbeat. With this bleeding though, it has distracted me from posting:/ But ya, it's a girl!  After our 3rd beta, I asked my nurse if she had that info. She told me right then and there. So exciting!!  Same as before with Kellen, I do not care at all what the gender is. But a girl will be such a great addition and I won't be outnumbered anymore...lol!  My husband's jaw dropped when I told him (he is excited but slightly intimidated😛). Both of us were just assuming that the embryo was a boy. But nope!!!  So now we have plenty of time to prepare for new clothes and decor. My mother in law said she will sew ruffles on all our existing boy clothes. Lol!  And luckily all the big gear that we bought for Kellen is gender neutral so we'll be good there. 

Anyway, here's the latest pic of baby girl!

7w2d update

I had monitoring again yesterday morning. Everything went well. My beta is now 39000+ and p2 is 30. My u/s showed the baby is developing nicely - measuring on track at 7w2d and good heart rate of 139 bpm! My SCH hasn't shrunk but it hasn't grown either and is located low in my uterus while baby is high. Hopefully that indicates a lower chance of it messing with the placenta. Plan is to go back next Tuesday and then I'll be released if all is looking good. 

Other than that, I'm just sitting over here still bleeding a kaleidoscope of colors. I could make some really interesting artwork with all the pads I'm going through. Sorry that was gross 😖. Seriously though it's only been 1.5 weeks since the initial bleed and I'm so over it. The initial one cleared up pretty fast but my last bleed on Saturday gets brown, then barely nothing and I think it's gone - then next time I go to the bathroom...oh great, the red is back again. It's been going back and forth like that about 3 times so far. It's really making it hard to feel confident. Thankfully, everything is going great with the baby. But still....Also, still nervous about my RE wanting to take me off PIO shots and release me after my 8w scan next week, put me on endometrin for 2 weeks, then done. After they release me, my p2 levels won't be checked anymore. Just makes me nervous with this SCH. What if it's messing with the placenta?  Silver lining though would be I can go to my OB and finally feel like I'm being taken care of.  Just have to trust that they know what they're doing I guess!

Bleeding part 2

And I'm bleeding again. It started this morning around 10 (luckily we skipped my son's swimming lesson today otherwise I woulda been bleeding in the pool!). Earlier in the morning I was having some pretty bad cramps. I tried to ignore them, remain calm, and drank a lot of water. By 9 or so, they had subsided but an unsettled feeling remained. So I was not surprised when the red bleeding started not long after. So annoying. Today was my hubby's birthday too.  We were planning to go to my in laws house and swim in their neighborhood pool with our son and brother and sister in law. I managed to remain calm when the bleeding started though and we did not cancel our plans. Obviously I couldn't go to the pool, but I knew I could still go to their house and relax (maybe nap) while they were at the pool and then have fun with them when they returned. 

Anyway, while we were driving there, I called my clinic again and got a call back quickly. Same story as last Monday - it'll be ok, unless I'm saturating a maxi within an hour, it's just my SCH acting up again. They said I didn't need to book an ultrasound for tomorrow as I already have one scheduled for Tuesday. Unless the bleeding gets worse or doesn't stop, waiting will be fine since the baby looked good last Tuesday. If it does get really heavy though, I should go to the ER. They said to stay off my feet today, no lifting,  no exercise, drink lots of water, pelvic rest, and stay calm. Once the bleeding subsides, I can resume normal activity. 12 hours later, my bleeding has lessened and is now more of a brownish color. It's really the same pattern that I had last Monday - bright red bleeding that was relatively light, but still a steady "dribble", then gradually got lighter, and finally just brown streaking on my pantyliner. So I should be ok I hope. 

It's such a frustrating reminder that I have this SCH though. Why can't I just have a normal, carefree pregnancy?  Is that too much to ask?!  I did not have anything in my underwear for 3 straight days prior to today and I was hoping that the hemorrhage would be shrinking at my next ultrasound. Now it looks like that might not be the case. 

Further exacerbating this is the fact that should things get really bad, I cannot get in-person care here unless it's at the ER. No fertility clinic will see me and my OB will not see me. I confirmed this last Thursday.  So I still have to go to this imaging center. The tech from last week was the best I've encountered so far so hopefully I get her again. But still, they are just techs - they can't read and deliver diagnoses with patients - the doc has to do that. However my doc, in not being able to discuss results with the tech, has limited information as well. So I'm the middle man not really knowing everything. For example - had the tech told me that I had an SCH, I would've asked for more information like size, location, etc. this info wasn't communicated on the report that was sent to my doc - just that it was a "moderately sized SCH". This wouldn't be an issue if my OB would just see me but they won't even schedule me until my RE releases me. And then, appointments are scheduled for 2-3 weeks out. I'm sure they'd see me sooner if I was bleeding but still. My release date should be a week from Tuesday IF everything is going well. If I still have bleeds I don't know if they'll release me.  Further giving me unrest is the fact that upon my release, my RE won't be monitoring my progesterone and they'll start weaning me by switching me to endometrin (a progesterone suppository). I'll be on that for 2 weeks and then done. It just seems way to early. Especially if I have this SCH and if it's messing with the placenta. 

So at this point I'm rambling as frankly I'm exhausted - but at least I'm feeling better now that I've unloaded my thoughts.  I'm just feeling very unsettled in this pregnancy. Deep down I do feel like all will be ok but it is still just so incredibly hard!  Hopefully this spotting stays that way. I hate this bleeding. 

6w2d...Oh great - I have a SCH:/

I got the call back from my nurse recently.  Beta is up to 13756 and progesterone is 46 - really good.  My nurse also confirmed that my ultrasound results were good.  Baby is right on track.

BUT I have a moderately sized SCH (subchorionic hemorrhage).  I've heard of many IVFers who get these.  Both they and their babies have survived - but they often report sudden episodes of gushing blood combined with passing clots.  VERY scary indeed!  It's a mystery what these things actually are and how they come to be, but essentially they are a pocket of blood within the uterus that can cause bleeding episodes and sometime in worst cases, a miscarriage if the SCH affects the placenta.  I don't quite know where mine was in relation to the sac.  I now know what that 2nd spot was that the tech was measuring and it seemed like it was a fair enough distance away.  So hopefully the danger of it affecting the placenta (which is still developing right now) is minimal.  Often times, these SCHs resolve on their own.  Other times, they last a lot longer - sometimes the entire pregnancy.  Prognosis seems to vary from doctor to doctor.  Some will be all gloom and doom and will give a 50/50 chance of miscarriage and prescribe progesterone & bedrest.  Others brush it off, just monitor the pregnancy closer, and recommend to take it easy.  My clinic seems to take the latter approach - although I'm still on progesterone.  We will just have to wait and see what happens with me though.  The nurse said that we really can't do anything about it but I should stay on pelvic rest and take it easy until we see the size going down.  I am so glad the baby is ok though.  And I'm trying to focus on my nurse saying that most of the time SCHs are just scary and annoying.  She said to call if I experience bleeding again and they'll have me go in to get checked out.  My next ultrasound/bloodwork appointment will be next Tuesday unless I start bleeding again.  

Monitoring Results

I just got back from my ultrasound.  Everything seems to be fine with the baby.  It has grown since last Friday and the heartbeat rate has increased to 136 bpm.  The fetal pole is definitely there and is measuring 6w3d - right on track.

So now I just have to wait for a call back from my nurse with my progesterone and beta results and see if any adjustments to my meds need to happen.  Interestingly, when I woke up this morning, I was not dripping but was still bleeding.  I usually take my progesterone shot at 6:30am.  I got up, took the shot, and went back to bed until 8am.  When I woke up again, the bleeding was gone and I just had brown spotting.  So I don't know if maybe my progesterone levels are too low or what.  Or maybe my cervix is just causing issues.  Maybe there will be blood in my uterus that the ultrasound reveled.  The tech couldn't tell if there was blood but she said the radiologist would review the films and would be able to tell.

In the meantime, I can rest easy knowing the baby is ok.  I just have to pray that my body is continuing to cooperate.

Bleeding hangover

I got an order for bloodwork and ultrasound today from my RE.  The on-call doc who I spoke with yesterday night said it was mainly to ease my mind - but I don't know.  I would think they'd want some reassurance too.  I got my bloodwork done already and I'll go in for ultrasound in about an hour.  I'm hoping that I can talk the tech in to talking to me more and showing me the screen this time since my anxiety levels will be thru the roof I bet.

I started bleeding last night after dinner.  I was cleaning up and felt a lot of wetness down there.  I peeked in my undies and saw bright red.  My stomach dropped and I went to sit on the toilet and got a pantyliner.  More blood came out.  Bright red, not clotty though and not gushing - more of a drip drip drip.  There is absolutely nothing like seeing that bright red color in the toilet though when you are pregnant.  My mind immediately thought the worst.  I bled pretty much all night.  I soaked thru a pantyliner and then it seemed to slow down.  When I woke this morning, it was more of a brown discharge.  So hopefully it's over.

Right after I started bleeding, I called my RE and left a message for the on-call doc.  She called me back within the hour and told me that 9 times out of 10, bleeding doesn't lead to anything.  Cervix is sensitive, could be breakthru bleeding, etc.  I had mild cramping too and asked about that.  She said it was probably nothing but to ease my mind, go in for monitoring tomorrow.  I was supposed to go on a 12 hour site visit today to southern Indiana which would involve walking around all day in 90 degree heat.  I asked if I should cancel going to this and she said that walking would not be the issue, but dehydration and heat would.  So I canceled that trip and opted to work from home instead today.  Probably for the best as I am now able to go get an ultrasound - which I need to start getting ready for... so I'll post again after.  Hopefully I have good news to report.

Please God again... please let us keep this baby.

Bleeding

I just had a long post written out and I accidentally deleted it. Grrr!

Basically the gist is that I'm bleeding. I'm freaking out. The doc said not to worry, 9 times outta 10 it's nothing, but get checked out tomorrow. Since I'm an outta town patient, I might not be able to do that til Wednesday. Cramping too. Awesome. 

Please God let us keep this baby. Please...but if it's You're will, grant us the strength to accept whatever happens. 

2nd ultrasound - 5w5d

I just realized I never posted about my ultrasound results on Friday. I went in Friday morning for a follow up ultrasound and bloodwork. Main thing they were looking for was the yolk sac and a good beta increase (and if course, to check my progesterone level). 

I had a different u/s tech this time. This time it was a female. Last time I had a male and there were some strange protocols involved with that. When we did the transvaginal u/s, another female had to be in the room and I had to insert the probe myself. Weird. Anyway, so the procedure was the same as before though - unnecessarily long and the tech was very quiet. I tried to calm myself with deep breathing and praying but it was really difficult. Finally she was done and she said she did see the yolk sac and what could be the beginnings of the fetal pole!  It was so early though, she couldn't say for sure. The yolk sac being there is great but the fetal pole is an even better sign - it's the first sign of structures beginning to form and the start of the spinal cord. She said she measured me at 5w6d - also good. So then she wrapped everything up, printed out a pic for me, I cleaned myself up and was on my way. 

I got a call from my nurse later that day telling me everything looked great. She confirmed everything was on track. She even said that the tech detected a pulse within the sac!  A pulse of 104bpm - aka a HEARTBEAT!!  Whoa!!  I was shocked as the tech didn't say anything about this and it was so early too. I was 5w5d on Friday so that's not really expected until 6.5 weeks or so. But it does start beating around 5.5 weeks - so it's not completely crazy or anything, just surprising that the machine picked it up. So I asked my nurse if this meant I had a "clinical pregnancy". She didn't really know what I meant. LOL. My former clinic used that term to describe a pregnancy that has a heartbeat. But she said  the pregnancy looked really good and once we saw the sac, it was official. So I was out of the woods for having a chemical pregnancy last Tuesday. My result last Friday puts me out of the "blighted ovum"/"empty sac" danger. My next ultrasound will be next Friday and as long as there is growth, we will be looking good.  My beta is slowing down which is expected. It was 5676, a 50 hr doubling time. Still within the range of 48-72 hrs that is expected at this stage so that's good. 

I'm a bit disappointed that the tech didn't flip on the audio once she found the pulse but oh well. It's such a beautiful sound after you have been worrying so much and been jumping thru so many hoops to have a pregnancy stick. Hopefully I'll get the tech to let me listen at my next appointment-assuming all goes well. I'm starting to feel a bit more secure with this pregnancy but the lack of preggo symptoms is still causing doubts for me. I guess I just have to trust that everything is ok. My boobs are starting to hurt more consistently and I can lay down and take a nap anywhere too so those are good I guess. No signs of a hangover though. I guess it's a good thing as it is preventing me from eating too much too early. That was sort of an issue with Kellen - eating made the nausea go away so I was constantly eating at first and gained way too much weight. 

Anyway, here's a pic from my ultrasound. The black circle is the gestational sac and the faint white circle is the yolk sac. 

Early Pregnancy Ultrasound

Here's an article I found at http://radiopaedia.org/articles/early-pregnancy that I'm saving here for reference later.

Early pregnancy

A.Prof Frank Gaillard◉ et al.

Early pregnancy roughly spans the first ten weeks of the first trimester.

Radiographic features

Antenatal ultrasound 

• 0-4.3 weeks: no ultrasound findings
• 4.3-5.0 weeks: 
  • possible small gestational sac
  • possible double decidual sac sign (DDSS)
  • possible intradecidual sac sign (IDSS)
• 5.1-5.5 weeks:
  • ​gestational sac should be visible by this time
• 5.5-6.0 weeks 
  • yolk sac should be visible by this time
  • gestational sac should be ~6 mm in diameter
  • double bleb sign
• >6.0 weeks
  • fetal pole may be identifiable on endovaginal ultrasound (1-2 mm)
  • fetal heart rate (FHR) should be ~100-115 bpm
  • gestational sac should be ~10 mm in diameter
• 6.5 weeks
  • crown rump length (CRL) should be ~5 mm
• 7-8 weeks
  • CRL is between 11-16 mm
  • cephalad and caudal poles can be identified
• 8-9 weeks
  • CRL is between 17-23 mm
  • limb buds appear
  • head can be seen as separate from the body
• 9-10 weeks
  • CRL is between 23-32 mm
  • fetal heart rate 170-180 bpm
  • fetal movement can be seen
  • a round hypoechoic structure in the fetal brain represents a developingembryonic/fetal rhombencephalon
  • nuchal translucency may begin to be seen

Transvaginal/endovaginal (TV/EV) scanning

• intradecidual sac sign (IDSS): early sign on a TV scan
• when the MSD measures 25 mm, an embryo must be visible
• when the CRL measures >7 mm, an embryo must show cardiac activity
• an embryo should be seen <=14 days after a scan with a gestational sac without ayolk sac
• an embryo should be seen <=11 days after a scan with a gestational sac and a yolk sac

Transabdominal (TA) scanning

• when the MSD measures 20 mm a yolk sac should be visible
• when the MSD measures 25 mm, an embryo must be visible

3rd beta & 1st ultrasound

Pheeeew...sigh of relief. I had my 3rd beta check and ultrasound today. They found a sac😊. It took forever - like 20 minutes - and the tech was so very quiet. Based on his demeanor, I was sure he didn't see anything. But afterwards when I said "assume you didn't see anything?" He said "oh no, I saw it. Here it is". So relieved I forgot to take a pic but oh well.  There wasn't much to see - it really was just a black blob.

Anyway, I had blood work also to check beta and progesterone which I did prior to my ultrasound at the lab in the hospital, so I went off to work after my ultrasound. I got a call from my nurse early afternoon. She took some of the wind outta my sails. I guess they wanted to see the yolk sac too, which the tech did not note. Either it's not there (which would be a fatal flaw) or its just not visible yet. So now I have to repeat the process on Friday and cross my fingers that it is visible.  And so my psychosis continues. I like having a check in every couple days better than waiting 2 long weeks for a heartbeat but this is almost too intense. Good news though is that beta is 2128. 39 hr doubling rate. So, I'm gonna try to focus on that and the fact that there was a sac at least. I'm still only 5w3d. 

This was my first ultrasound at the hospital's imaging center. I have to go there instead of a fertility clinic because none of them will see me for pregnancy monitoring for liability reasons I am told. Whatever:/. My ob won't see me until at least 8 weeks. So I have to go to this place that really doesn't specialize in delicate matters that are early pregnancies after IVF. Case in point, it's their protocol to do an abdominal ultrasound first even if it doesn't make sense and the order clearly states "transvaginal ultrasound". At 5w, there's pretty much nothing that can be seen via an abdominal ultrasound so it's really a waste of time. Also, when the tech was finally doing the transvaginal ultrasound (which took 20 minutes alone), at around the 15 min mark, he said he was looking at my ovaries. I gave him the stink-eye and didn't say anything but the order clearly and simply stated "find and measure sacs".  I don't need my ovaries looked at. No sacs there!  So anyway, my point is, this place typically deals with pregnancies much further along and pregnancies that do not need quick, efficient, and precise monitoring (that's where the "IVF factory" is a benefit - I know if I was doing this in NJ, I'd be in and out in 15 minutes and wouldn't have to worry about the accuracy). The fact that the yolk sac wasn't seen could be due to tech error or the ultrasound equipment not being sensitive enough but it could also be due to the fact that it just might not be visible yet. I am reading that it is quite common to not see the yolk sac yet (my nurse confirmed this) and that it can typically be seen once betas are higher.  I've read that anywhere from 2500 to 7500 for a yolk sac to be seen. My beta was 2128 today so by Friday I should be at about 7500 if my doubling rate continues. If the rate slows though which does tend to happen as the weeks go by, I might be closer to around 6000. We'll see!  

I hate to say it but it's really hard to not compare this pregnancy to Kellen's. At 5w3d, my beta was way up there at 6000+!  It doesn't worry me per se but it just adds kindling fuel to my psychosis. All pregnancies are different, so I'm told, and betas can range all across the board but still. I'm envious of those numbers I had 3 years ago!  Plus my symptoms were way stronger. But that makes sense given the difference in my beta numbers. Just today I'm starting to feel tender breasts. Smells are starting to bother me. That's about it though. Cramping has been more today I guess too. But I was feeling more symptoms when I first poased than I am now!  But I think I said it before though - maybe my body recognized the hcg at first and was like "WHOA what's this?!" And now it's like "oohhhh...mehhh". Also when I poased I was only 4 days caffeine free so I coulda had some withdrawal symptoms that I identified as preggo symptoms. Similarly, I quit caffeine AFTER my bfp with Kellen. So all that fogginess was WAY worse with him. 

Anyway, for the next couple of days, I'll be sitting tight, waiting for Friday and trying to focus on the positive things that I KNOW today. 1) there is a sac & 2) my good beta doubling rate is continuing. 

5w1d update

Yesterday I became 5 weeks pregnant!  That's assuming that the due date calculator is accurate which I'm not sure of since I had an FET. It should be close at least though.  For now, we are keeping the news on the down low at least until we jump over all the 1st trimester hoops. For now, just my family and hubby's family know and my boss (she's been really supportive throughout our journey). Our son knows too. He tells me every night that he wants to see the baby. We weren't planning on telling my hubby's family so soon but they were over the other day and he told them "I all growed up and momma has a baby in her belly"!  My hubby wanted to wait to tell them until we were further along but when my son said that to them I could not keep a poker face or brush it off. Lol!  

Anyway, outside of that, not much has been going on. We have our long weekend for the 4th. We had the option to go visit hubby's aunt on a lake but I'm just so so so tired. Also, hubby has a ton of stuff on his honey-do list;) so I think we're staying home and having a low-key 4th this year. Plus, the actual 4th is on a Monday and we have to go to work the day after and I have my ultrasound.  I really don't have too many symptoms other than being exhausted. At times I get crampy but for the most part, that seems to have subsided.  I'm trying to ignore the fact that I felt more at this point with Kellen.  Maybe I'm feeling the same but I'm more tolerant. Who knows. I'll feel better after Tuesday's ultrasound and beta check. My biggest complaint last couple days is a sore throat and cough that will not go away.  That might explain why I'm so tired too cuz it tends to flare up when I'm trying to sleep at night.   

2nd beta result

Wellll I got the 2nd beta result earlier today. It's 168!!  That's a great doubling rate of 38.6 hours!  Next step is another beta check on Tuesday along with an ultrasound to check for the gestational sac. Wasn't expecting an ultrasound to be so soon!  I'm excited for this but nervous too in case they can't see anything. Plus, my current local clinic won't do pregnancy scans so I have to find another clinic. My OB won't see me until 8 weeks and I've called nearly all the fertility clinics in Indianapolis and none will do outside pregnancy monitoring. Ugghhh!  So there is an imaging facility that I might have to go to and I don't know if the techs there are trained to deal with pregnant patients who are only 5 weeks preggo. The sac is TINY at this stage so I'd think it could be easily missed. Well, I'll just have to see what happens I guess. But for now, I will celebrate that we have jumped over yet another hurdle toward having our 2nd child!

Beta result is in!

I finally got the call with my beta results about 1/2 hr after I initially called my nurse in NJ. The result is positive and beta is 71! Yay!  My progesterone and estrogen levels are also good and I am supposed to maintain my daily dosage (1ml shot of PIO and 2mg estrogen 2x per day). I need to take another beta on Wednesday to make sure my number is doubling the way it should. 

So now on to my psychosis. With Kellen, my beta was taken on 9dpt. My result was 146. With this pregnancy I'm at 10dpt and my beta is half that. So I'm a little down.  I just figured that since this embryo was already hatched, it would be producing hcg sooner and thus would be higher at beta day.  Even so, when I asked if this number was low, my nurse said that no, it was a good number and that the real number that counts is the one on Wednesday. Every embryo is different. But still - has me nervous and also has me wishing that I called in sick that day instead of today!  

On the plus side, I am reading that the FRERs have an hcg detection level of 6.5. I think the sensitivity has increased in the past 3yrs cuz I thought it was 25. Either that or Google was wrong in 2013. Anyway, my line on 5dpt was super light so my hcg level was probably close to that minimum level.  If you take that and plug in my results from today in to a beta doubling calculator, I get a doubling rate of 1.4 days or 33.9 hours which is pretty good. So hopefully my hcg just continues along the same clip. As long as the rate doubles within 2 days, I'm good. So shooting for a beta of 142 on Wednesday!!  But also trying to focus on the positive. Today I am pregnant!!

Waiting for beta

Well, it's 4pm and here I sit.  I had my beta today.  I took the earliest appointment they had at 8am in hopes that the results would be faxed sooner.  I was wrong.  Just found out my clinic here never sent the results to my clinic in NJ!!  AHHHHH!!!  So freaking annoying.  I can't even...I mean they know it's a beta, right??  So NOW I have to wait some more.  Thank God I asked my nurse if she received my results.  The clinic here closes at 4 so if I hadn't found out until later, I would've had to wait until tomorrow.  I was assured that they would fax over the results within 5-10 minutes.  I don't know what has to happen once they receive the results in NJ though.  The doc prolly has to review, if it's positive, provide a recommendation on progesterone/estrogen dosage.

Pee test update

I tested this morning and I got a line again. Still not as dark as it was yesterday morning but it's still a line. So ya, I guess the verdict is that I had a faulty test last night. UGH. That got me so worked up. I don't wanna test anymore and my hubby has said not to. But I'm still so nervous. I'd be better if my symptoms were stronger. Still feeling crampy but not queasy at all and my back pain went away.  I'm gonna try really hard to not test again though. I used up the last of my tests this morning so I'd have to go thru the trouble of going to store to get more. So I think I'm just gonna sit tight today and try to reassure myself with the line I got this morning. But ya the FRERs have let me down last night for sure!

Pee stick hell

Great. So I am worried sick right now. It's 1am. I'm so tired but I can't sleep. I took a test this morning (not fmu) and it was unmistakably positive. The darkest line yet. I go about my day. We went to a baseball game this evening in the blistering heat. Had to walk a mile there and back to our car. Exhausted since I'm so out of shape. Anyway, I take a test around 11pm. Just for reassurance to help me sleep. What do I see??  NOTHING!!  Not even a faint shadow of a line after waiting 10 minutes. W...T...F!!!  My stomach dropped and I felt sick.  OMG no!  No no no no... Feelings of horror and disbelief take over.  How could there be nothing when I had such a dark line just 12 hrs earlier??  

I wash up and try to go to bed but it's not working. So I get up again and feel like I need to pee so I take a test again. THIS time a faint line appears but it is so so very faint.  I have let it sit for about 1/2 hour and now the line is about as dark as yesterday's tests but nowhere near as dark as today's.  

So I'm going crazy. I am relieved that I now see a line at least. That first test I took at 11 has a line now too but it is barely anything. And it only extends halfway thru the window. My line from the very first test at 5dpt was way darker. So I donno if this was just a bunk test or what but it's worked me up a bit. Really wish my beta was tomorrow now!  I think I'll call in sick on Monday. Just can't deal with this at work. My symptoms have been weaker today too. But it could be that I've been so active and busy that I haven't felt them. 

Ahhh I just hate hate hate this uncertainty!  God, please just fast forward to next March so I know the outcome. 

To test or not to test... we have a 5dpt squinter!

Today I am 6dpt (days past transfer).  Since 4dpt I've been feeling some familiar feelings - cramping, lower back pain, mild queasiness in the morning, headaches.  All of these I had around the same time with Kellen.  I usually don't get queasy, lower back pain, or headaches in a normal cycle - cramping sure...but this is a different type of cramping.  It's more of a stretching and pulling cramping rather than dull menstrual cramping.  On the other hand though, I have quit drinking my daily cup of coffee starting on my day of transfer.  Monday & Tuesday I was feeling soooo incredibly weird and out of it - clearly caffeine withdrawal - so my symptoms could've been associated with the lack of coffee.  But still, I wasn't convinced.  I still had the "I feel like I just did crunches" feeling too.

So anyway, I was getting ready for work yesterday feeling sorta sick and thinking "can it be?  Am I preggo?"  I have looked at the embryo timeline many times within the past couple days but that timeline assumes that the blast had not hatched yet.  Mine was already hatched which means it can implant within a couple hours of transfer.  So that shortens the timeline by 1-2 days.  I got a bfp with Kellen on 7dpt so finally after lots of back and forth, I said "I'm just gonna do it!".  I whipped out a first response early result and really had to try hard to get enough pee on it (I didn't quite think that part through - I have pee sticks but they need to be peed on to work, duh!).  You're supposed to hold it in your pee stream for 5 seconds - I could barely get 3 seconds and those seconds only consisted of dribbling.  Lol.  I was pot-commited at that point though and didn't wanna waste the test so I tried to get as much as I could.  I set the test aside and went on getting ready while periodically checking it.  At first I didn't see anything but then when the 3 minute waiting period came, I saw a super faint shadow of a line!  No WAY!  It definitely was a squinter - but at the same time, it definitely was a line!  Some tests with the infamous blue ink are known to give false positives with "evaporation lines" that look like a shadow of a second line, but really they're not.  First Responses though rarely do that.  That's why in the IVF world, FRERs are the gold standard.  Plus you can test super early with them!

Once I saw a line, it got darker and darker.  Naturally I then took about 1/2 hour taking pics with my phone in different lighting, at different angles, against different backgrounds.  I was a nut-job!  No matter what I did, the faint line I was seeing was REALLY faint in the pictures.  Below is one of the pics I took.

It is so hard to see - but it is there!  So then I had to finish getting ready while being a bit emotional and had to get my son ready for daycare.  Needless to say, I was late to work! 

Yesterday evening I got home, peed on a stick, confirmed it was still positive (it was slightly darker too) and wrapped it up for my hubby as a late Father's Day present.  He was shocked and elated when he opened it up:)  He didn't realize I would know so early.  The benefit of a frozen cycle is that, though incredibly boring at first, once the transfer happens, it is really fast.  Whereas in a fresh IVF cycle you have the stimming/monitoring phase, retrieval, 5 day wait for blast development, transfer, and then a 10 day wait for beta.  So since we did an FET, things have seemed to have moved faster than other IVF cycles we've had. 

I've also POASed 2 more times today as well.  Here is the progression of those tests: 

Now that we do have 2 lines, we are still cautious of course.  The embryo is chromosomally normal though so that is on our side and cuts are chances of a chemical or miscarriage down by a lot, but even so, there are still a multitude of things that could go wrong and the embryo still could just not be strong enough to progress to the stage where the heart develops.  We have jumped over yet another hump though.  I will continue to test daily until my beta on Monday morning.  Hopefully I'll have fairly strong lines by then, will have stronger symptoms, and won't have to be nervous at work waiting for the call.  The real test is the 2nd beta though as that test determines the doubling rate which is the main indicator of viability at this stage.  Fingers crossed very very hard!  Thankfully we have a busy weekend coming up so it will be easy to distract myself.

For now though, on this day, I am pregnant - 3 weeks 4 days to be exact (if the FET calculator I'm using is correct!).  If all progresses well, my due date will be March 5th:)!

Transfer today

Well... I am PUPO!  Everything went well today. I went in for monitoring at 6am and all looked good. They called me later at around 10 to tell me to come in at 12:50 for transfer and to drink 10oz of water 10 minutes before coming. At that time I also signed up for laser acupuncture as it increases chances for implantation. 

So I drank my water and got there at 12:50. Then I proceeded to sit for 45 minutes!  Ugh!  By that time, I really had to pee. I asked them how much longer and if I could relieve my bladder a bit. They said "no, you have to wait. Should be soon."  Finally they brought me back but they would not let me pee until they looked at my bladder via ultrasound despite my pleas that I was too full. Pretty quickly they verified that yep, this girl's gonna pee herself! They let me remove 3/4 cup. Ah relief! 

After that, I had laser acupuncture. That was weird. This guy came in with a probe thingy, gave me sunglasses, and held the probe over various points - head, ears, uterus, knees, and feet. That took all of 5 minutes.  

Then came the transfer. The embryologist came in wheeling an incubator followed by the doctor and 2 nurses.  The doctor was not my doctor but another in the practice. They have 20 or so docs so they all rotate with the ER and ET procedures. That means I'll never meet my doc face to face, but that's really not very necessary. Anyway, the doctor gave me the picture of our embryo, said it was grade b, and got down to business. The transfer was literally a 5 minute procedure. They inserted the speculum, cleaned the cervix, inserted the catheter, and transferred the embryo. 

Then the acupuncturist came in again for another session of laser acupuncture. Again with the sunglasses and probe. It was weird again - I just don't see how it would make any difference but whatever. 

So now begins the 2ww. Beta is 6/27. I'm thinking I'll probably start testing on the 24th or 25th.