Bleeding part 2

And I'm bleeding again. It started this morning around 10 (luckily we skipped my son's swimming lesson today otherwise I woulda been bleeding in the pool!). Earlier in the morning I was having some pretty bad cramps. I tried to ignore them, remain calm, and drank a lot of water. By 9 or so, they had subsided but an unsettled feeling remained. So I was not surprised when the red bleeding started not long after. So annoying. Today was my hubby's birthday too.  We were planning to go to my in laws house and swim in their neighborhood pool with our son and brother and sister in law. I managed to remain calm when the bleeding started though and we did not cancel our plans. Obviously I couldn't go to the pool, but I knew I could still go to their house and relax (maybe nap) while they were at the pool and then have fun with them when they returned. 

Anyway, while we were driving there, I called my clinic again and got a call back quickly. Same story as last Monday - it'll be ok, unless I'm saturating a maxi within an hour, it's just my SCH acting up again. They said I didn't need to book an ultrasound for tomorrow as I already have one scheduled for Tuesday. Unless the bleeding gets worse or doesn't stop, waiting will be fine since the baby looked good last Tuesday. If it does get really heavy though, I should go to the ER. They said to stay off my feet today, no lifting,  no exercise, drink lots of water, pelvic rest, and stay calm. Once the bleeding subsides, I can resume normal activity. 12 hours later, my bleeding has lessened and is now more of a brownish color. It's really the same pattern that I had last Monday - bright red bleeding that was relatively light, but still a steady "dribble", then gradually got lighter, and finally just brown streaking on my pantyliner. So I should be ok I hope. 

It's such a frustrating reminder that I have this SCH though. Why can't I just have a normal, carefree pregnancy?  Is that too much to ask?!  I did not have anything in my underwear for 3 straight days prior to today and I was hoping that the hemorrhage would be shrinking at my next ultrasound. Now it looks like that might not be the case. 

Further exacerbating this is the fact that should things get really bad, I cannot get in-person care here unless it's at the ER. No fertility clinic will see me and my OB will not see me. I confirmed this last Thursday.  So I still have to go to this imaging center. The tech from last week was the best I've encountered so far so hopefully I get her again. But still, they are just techs - they can't read and deliver diagnoses with patients - the doc has to do that. However my doc, in not being able to discuss results with the tech, has limited information as well. So I'm the middle man not really knowing everything. For example - had the tech told me that I had an SCH, I would've asked for more information like size, location, etc. this info wasn't communicated on the report that was sent to my doc - just that it was a "moderately sized SCH". This wouldn't be an issue if my OB would just see me but they won't even schedule me until my RE releases me. And then, appointments are scheduled for 2-3 weeks out. I'm sure they'd see me sooner if I was bleeding but still. My release date should be a week from Tuesday IF everything is going well. If I still have bleeds I don't know if they'll release me.  Further giving me unrest is the fact that upon my release, my RE won't be monitoring my progesterone and they'll start weaning me by switching me to endometrin (a progesterone suppository). I'll be on that for 2 weeks and then done. It just seems way to early. Especially if I have this SCH and if it's messing with the placenta. 

So at this point I'm rambling as frankly I'm exhausted - but at least I'm feeling better now that I've unloaded my thoughts.  I'm just feeling very unsettled in this pregnancy. Deep down I do feel like all will be ok but it is still just so incredibly hard!  Hopefully this spotting stays that way. I hate this bleeding.