Gender! It's a.....

GIRL!!!!

We found this out quite some time ago but only started letting people know last week once we saw a heartbeat. With this bleeding though, it has distracted me from posting:/ But ya, it's a girl!  After our 3rd beta, I asked my nurse if she had that info. She told me right then and there. So exciting!!  Same as before with Kellen, I do not care at all what the gender is. But a girl will be such a great addition and I won't be outnumbered anymore...lol!  My husband's jaw dropped when I told him (he is excited but slightly intimidated😛). Both of us were just assuming that the embryo was a boy. But nope!!!  So now we have plenty of time to prepare for new clothes and decor. My mother in law said she will sew ruffles on all our existing boy clothes. Lol!  And luckily all the big gear that we bought for Kellen is gender neutral so we'll be good there. 

Anyway, here's the latest pic of baby girl!

7w2d update

I had monitoring again yesterday morning. Everything went well. My beta is now 39000+ and p2 is 30. My u/s showed the baby is developing nicely - measuring on track at 7w2d and good heart rate of 139 bpm! My SCH hasn't shrunk but it hasn't grown either and is located low in my uterus while baby is high. Hopefully that indicates a lower chance of it messing with the placenta. Plan is to go back next Tuesday and then I'll be released if all is looking good. 

Other than that, I'm just sitting over here still bleeding a kaleidoscope of colors. I could make some really interesting artwork with all the pads I'm going through. Sorry that was gross 😖. Seriously though it's only been 1.5 weeks since the initial bleed and I'm so over it. The initial one cleared up pretty fast but my last bleed on Saturday gets brown, then barely nothing and I think it's gone - then next time I go to the bathroom...oh great, the red is back again. It's been going back and forth like that about 3 times so far. It's really making it hard to feel confident. Thankfully, everything is going great with the baby. But still....Also, still nervous about my RE wanting to take me off PIO shots and release me after my 8w scan next week, put me on endometrin for 2 weeks, then done. After they release me, my p2 levels won't be checked anymore. Just makes me nervous with this SCH. What if it's messing with the placenta?  Silver lining though would be I can go to my OB and finally feel like I'm being taken care of.  Just have to trust that they know what they're doing I guess!

Bleeding part 2

And I'm bleeding again. It started this morning around 10 (luckily we skipped my son's swimming lesson today otherwise I woulda been bleeding in the pool!). Earlier in the morning I was having some pretty bad cramps. I tried to ignore them, remain calm, and drank a lot of water. By 9 or so, they had subsided but an unsettled feeling remained. So I was not surprised when the red bleeding started not long after. So annoying. Today was my hubby's birthday too.  We were planning to go to my in laws house and swim in their neighborhood pool with our son and brother and sister in law. I managed to remain calm when the bleeding started though and we did not cancel our plans. Obviously I couldn't go to the pool, but I knew I could still go to their house and relax (maybe nap) while they were at the pool and then have fun with them when they returned. 

Anyway, while we were driving there, I called my clinic again and got a call back quickly. Same story as last Monday - it'll be ok, unless I'm saturating a maxi within an hour, it's just my SCH acting up again. They said I didn't need to book an ultrasound for tomorrow as I already have one scheduled for Tuesday. Unless the bleeding gets worse or doesn't stop, waiting will be fine since the baby looked good last Tuesday. If it does get really heavy though, I should go to the ER. They said to stay off my feet today, no lifting,  no exercise, drink lots of water, pelvic rest, and stay calm. Once the bleeding subsides, I can resume normal activity. 12 hours later, my bleeding has lessened and is now more of a brownish color. It's really the same pattern that I had last Monday - bright red bleeding that was relatively light, but still a steady "dribble", then gradually got lighter, and finally just brown streaking on my pantyliner. So I should be ok I hope. 

It's such a frustrating reminder that I have this SCH though. Why can't I just have a normal, carefree pregnancy?  Is that too much to ask?!  I did not have anything in my underwear for 3 straight days prior to today and I was hoping that the hemorrhage would be shrinking at my next ultrasound. Now it looks like that might not be the case. 

Further exacerbating this is the fact that should things get really bad, I cannot get in-person care here unless it's at the ER. No fertility clinic will see me and my OB will not see me. I confirmed this last Thursday.  So I still have to go to this imaging center. The tech from last week was the best I've encountered so far so hopefully I get her again. But still, they are just techs - they can't read and deliver diagnoses with patients - the doc has to do that. However my doc, in not being able to discuss results with the tech, has limited information as well. So I'm the middle man not really knowing everything. For example - had the tech told me that I had an SCH, I would've asked for more information like size, location, etc. this info wasn't communicated on the report that was sent to my doc - just that it was a "moderately sized SCH". This wouldn't be an issue if my OB would just see me but they won't even schedule me until my RE releases me. And then, appointments are scheduled for 2-3 weeks out. I'm sure they'd see me sooner if I was bleeding but still. My release date should be a week from Tuesday IF everything is going well. If I still have bleeds I don't know if they'll release me.  Further giving me unrest is the fact that upon my release, my RE won't be monitoring my progesterone and they'll start weaning me by switching me to endometrin (a progesterone suppository). I'll be on that for 2 weeks and then done. It just seems way to early. Especially if I have this SCH and if it's messing with the placenta. 

So at this point I'm rambling as frankly I'm exhausted - but at least I'm feeling better now that I've unloaded my thoughts.  I'm just feeling very unsettled in this pregnancy. Deep down I do feel like all will be ok but it is still just so incredibly hard!  Hopefully this spotting stays that way. I hate this bleeding. 

6w2d...Oh great - I have a SCH:/

I got the call back from my nurse recently.  Beta is up to 13756 and progesterone is 46 - really good.  My nurse also confirmed that my ultrasound results were good.  Baby is right on track.

BUT I have a moderately sized SCH (subchorionic hemorrhage).  I've heard of many IVFers who get these.  Both they and their babies have survived - but they often report sudden episodes of gushing blood combined with passing clots.  VERY scary indeed!  It's a mystery what these things actually are and how they come to be, but essentially they are a pocket of blood within the uterus that can cause bleeding episodes and sometime in worst cases, a miscarriage if the SCH affects the placenta.  I don't quite know where mine was in relation to the sac.  I now know what that 2nd spot was that the tech was measuring and it seemed like it was a fair enough distance away.  So hopefully the danger of it affecting the placenta (which is still developing right now) is minimal.  Often times, these SCHs resolve on their own.  Other times, they last a lot longer - sometimes the entire pregnancy.  Prognosis seems to vary from doctor to doctor.  Some will be all gloom and doom and will give a 50/50 chance of miscarriage and prescribe progesterone & bedrest.  Others brush it off, just monitor the pregnancy closer, and recommend to take it easy.  My clinic seems to take the latter approach - although I'm still on progesterone.  We will just have to wait and see what happens with me though.  The nurse said that we really can't do anything about it but I should stay on pelvic rest and take it easy until we see the size going down.  I am so glad the baby is ok though.  And I'm trying to focus on my nurse saying that most of the time SCHs are just scary and annoying.  She said to call if I experience bleeding again and they'll have me go in to get checked out.  My next ultrasound/bloodwork appointment will be next Tuesday unless I start bleeding again.  

Monitoring Results

I just got back from my ultrasound.  Everything seems to be fine with the baby.  It has grown since last Friday and the heartbeat rate has increased to 136 bpm.  The fetal pole is definitely there and is measuring 6w3d - right on track.

So now I just have to wait for a call back from my nurse with my progesterone and beta results and see if any adjustments to my meds need to happen.  Interestingly, when I woke up this morning, I was not dripping but was still bleeding.  I usually take my progesterone shot at 6:30am.  I got up, took the shot, and went back to bed until 8am.  When I woke up again, the bleeding was gone and I just had brown spotting.  So I don't know if maybe my progesterone levels are too low or what.  Or maybe my cervix is just causing issues.  Maybe there will be blood in my uterus that the ultrasound reveled.  The tech couldn't tell if there was blood but she said the radiologist would review the films and would be able to tell.

In the meantime, I can rest easy knowing the baby is ok.  I just have to pray that my body is continuing to cooperate.

Bleeding hangover

I got an order for bloodwork and ultrasound today from my RE.  The on-call doc who I spoke with yesterday night said it was mainly to ease my mind - but I don't know.  I would think they'd want some reassurance too.  I got my bloodwork done already and I'll go in for ultrasound in about an hour.  I'm hoping that I can talk the tech in to talking to me more and showing me the screen this time since my anxiety levels will be thru the roof I bet.

I started bleeding last night after dinner.  I was cleaning up and felt a lot of wetness down there.  I peeked in my undies and saw bright red.  My stomach dropped and I went to sit on the toilet and got a pantyliner.  More blood came out.  Bright red, not clotty though and not gushing - more of a drip drip drip.  There is absolutely nothing like seeing that bright red color in the toilet though when you are pregnant.  My mind immediately thought the worst.  I bled pretty much all night.  I soaked thru a pantyliner and then it seemed to slow down.  When I woke this morning, it was more of a brown discharge.  So hopefully it's over.

Right after I started bleeding, I called my RE and left a message for the on-call doc.  She called me back within the hour and told me that 9 times out of 10, bleeding doesn't lead to anything.  Cervix is sensitive, could be breakthru bleeding, etc.  I had mild cramping too and asked about that.  She said it was probably nothing but to ease my mind, go in for monitoring tomorrow.  I was supposed to go on a 12 hour site visit today to southern Indiana which would involve walking around all day in 90 degree heat.  I asked if I should cancel going to this and she said that walking would not be the issue, but dehydration and heat would.  So I canceled that trip and opted to work from home instead today.  Probably for the best as I am now able to go get an ultrasound - which I need to start getting ready for... so I'll post again after.  Hopefully I have good news to report.

Please God again... please let us keep this baby.

Bleeding

I just had a long post written out and I accidentally deleted it. Grrr!

Basically the gist is that I'm bleeding. I'm freaking out. The doc said not to worry, 9 times outta 10 it's nothing, but get checked out tomorrow. Since I'm an outta town patient, I might not be able to do that til Wednesday. Cramping too. Awesome. 

Please God let us keep this baby. Please...but if it's You're will, grant us the strength to accept whatever happens. 

2nd ultrasound - 5w5d

I just realized I never posted about my ultrasound results on Friday. I went in Friday morning for a follow up ultrasound and bloodwork. Main thing they were looking for was the yolk sac and a good beta increase (and if course, to check my progesterone level). 

I had a different u/s tech this time. This time it was a female. Last time I had a male and there were some strange protocols involved with that. When we did the transvaginal u/s, another female had to be in the room and I had to insert the probe myself. Weird. Anyway, so the procedure was the same as before though - unnecessarily long and the tech was very quiet. I tried to calm myself with deep breathing and praying but it was really difficult. Finally she was done and she said she did see the yolk sac and what could be the beginnings of the fetal pole!  It was so early though, she couldn't say for sure. The yolk sac being there is great but the fetal pole is an even better sign - it's the first sign of structures beginning to form and the start of the spinal cord. She said she measured me at 5w6d - also good. So then she wrapped everything up, printed out a pic for me, I cleaned myself up and was on my way. 

I got a call from my nurse later that day telling me everything looked great. She confirmed everything was on track. She even said that the tech detected a pulse within the sac!  A pulse of 104bpm - aka a HEARTBEAT!!  Whoa!!  I was shocked as the tech didn't say anything about this and it was so early too. I was 5w5d on Friday so that's not really expected until 6.5 weeks or so. But it does start beating around 5.5 weeks - so it's not completely crazy or anything, just surprising that the machine picked it up. So I asked my nurse if this meant I had a "clinical pregnancy". She didn't really know what I meant. LOL. My former clinic used that term to describe a pregnancy that has a heartbeat. But she said  the pregnancy looked really good and once we saw the sac, it was official. So I was out of the woods for having a chemical pregnancy last Tuesday. My result last Friday puts me out of the "blighted ovum"/"empty sac" danger. My next ultrasound will be next Friday and as long as there is growth, we will be looking good.  My beta is slowing down which is expected. It was 5676, a 50 hr doubling time. Still within the range of 48-72 hrs that is expected at this stage so that's good. 

I'm a bit disappointed that the tech didn't flip on the audio once she found the pulse but oh well. It's such a beautiful sound after you have been worrying so much and been jumping thru so many hoops to have a pregnancy stick. Hopefully I'll get the tech to let me listen at my next appointment-assuming all goes well. I'm starting to feel a bit more secure with this pregnancy but the lack of preggo symptoms is still causing doubts for me. I guess I just have to trust that everything is ok. My boobs are starting to hurt more consistently and I can lay down and take a nap anywhere too so those are good I guess. No signs of a hangover though. I guess it's a good thing as it is preventing me from eating too much too early. That was sort of an issue with Kellen - eating made the nausea go away so I was constantly eating at first and gained way too much weight. 

Anyway, here's a pic from my ultrasound. The black circle is the gestational sac and the faint white circle is the yolk sac. 

Early Pregnancy Ultrasound

Here's an article I found at http://radiopaedia.org/articles/early-pregnancy that I'm saving here for reference later.

Early pregnancy

A.Prof Frank Gaillard◉ et al.

Early pregnancy roughly spans the first ten weeks of the first trimester.

Radiographic features

Antenatal ultrasound 

• 0-4.3 weeks: no ultrasound findings
• 4.3-5.0 weeks: 
  • possible small gestational sac
  • possible double decidual sac sign (DDSS)
  • possible intradecidual sac sign (IDSS)
• 5.1-5.5 weeks:
  • ​gestational sac should be visible by this time
• 5.5-6.0 weeks 
  • yolk sac should be visible by this time
  • gestational sac should be ~6 mm in diameter
  • double bleb sign
• >6.0 weeks
  • fetal pole may be identifiable on endovaginal ultrasound (1-2 mm)
  • fetal heart rate (FHR) should be ~100-115 bpm
  • gestational sac should be ~10 mm in diameter
• 6.5 weeks
  • crown rump length (CRL) should be ~5 mm
• 7-8 weeks
  • CRL is between 11-16 mm
  • cephalad and caudal poles can be identified
• 8-9 weeks
  • CRL is between 17-23 mm
  • limb buds appear
  • head can be seen as separate from the body
• 9-10 weeks
  • CRL is between 23-32 mm
  • fetal heart rate 170-180 bpm
  • fetal movement can be seen
  • a round hypoechoic structure in the fetal brain represents a developingembryonic/fetal rhombencephalon
  • nuchal translucency may begin to be seen

Transvaginal/endovaginal (TV/EV) scanning

• intradecidual sac sign (IDSS): early sign on a TV scan
• when the MSD measures 25 mm, an embryo must be visible
• when the CRL measures >7 mm, an embryo must show cardiac activity
• an embryo should be seen <=14 days after a scan with a gestational sac without ayolk sac
• an embryo should be seen <=11 days after a scan with a gestational sac and a yolk sac

Transabdominal (TA) scanning

• when the MSD measures 20 mm a yolk sac should be visible
• when the MSD measures 25 mm, an embryo must be visible

3rd beta & 1st ultrasound

Pheeeew...sigh of relief. I had my 3rd beta check and ultrasound today. They found a sac😊. It took forever - like 20 minutes - and the tech was so very quiet. Based on his demeanor, I was sure he didn't see anything. But afterwards when I said "assume you didn't see anything?" He said "oh no, I saw it. Here it is". So relieved I forgot to take a pic but oh well.  There wasn't much to see - it really was just a black blob.

Anyway, I had blood work also to check beta and progesterone which I did prior to my ultrasound at the lab in the hospital, so I went off to work after my ultrasound. I got a call from my nurse early afternoon. She took some of the wind outta my sails. I guess they wanted to see the yolk sac too, which the tech did not note. Either it's not there (which would be a fatal flaw) or its just not visible yet. So now I have to repeat the process on Friday and cross my fingers that it is visible.  And so my psychosis continues. I like having a check in every couple days better than waiting 2 long weeks for a heartbeat but this is almost too intense. Good news though is that beta is 2128. 39 hr doubling rate. So, I'm gonna try to focus on that and the fact that there was a sac at least. I'm still only 5w3d. 

This was my first ultrasound at the hospital's imaging center. I have to go there instead of a fertility clinic because none of them will see me for pregnancy monitoring for liability reasons I am told. Whatever:/. My ob won't see me until at least 8 weeks. So I have to go to this place that really doesn't specialize in delicate matters that are early pregnancies after IVF. Case in point, it's their protocol to do an abdominal ultrasound first even if it doesn't make sense and the order clearly states "transvaginal ultrasound". At 5w, there's pretty much nothing that can be seen via an abdominal ultrasound so it's really a waste of time. Also, when the tech was finally doing the transvaginal ultrasound (which took 20 minutes alone), at around the 15 min mark, he said he was looking at my ovaries. I gave him the stink-eye and didn't say anything but the order clearly and simply stated "find and measure sacs".  I don't need my ovaries looked at. No sacs there!  So anyway, my point is, this place typically deals with pregnancies much further along and pregnancies that do not need quick, efficient, and precise monitoring (that's where the "IVF factory" is a benefit - I know if I was doing this in NJ, I'd be in and out in 15 minutes and wouldn't have to worry about the accuracy). The fact that the yolk sac wasn't seen could be due to tech error or the ultrasound equipment not being sensitive enough but it could also be due to the fact that it just might not be visible yet. I am reading that it is quite common to not see the yolk sac yet (my nurse confirmed this) and that it can typically be seen once betas are higher.  I've read that anywhere from 2500 to 7500 for a yolk sac to be seen. My beta was 2128 today so by Friday I should be at about 7500 if my doubling rate continues. If the rate slows though which does tend to happen as the weeks go by, I might be closer to around 6000. We'll see!  

I hate to say it but it's really hard to not compare this pregnancy to Kellen's. At 5w3d, my beta was way up there at 6000+!  It doesn't worry me per se but it just adds kindling fuel to my psychosis. All pregnancies are different, so I'm told, and betas can range all across the board but still. I'm envious of those numbers I had 3 years ago!  Plus my symptoms were way stronger. But that makes sense given the difference in my beta numbers. Just today I'm starting to feel tender breasts. Smells are starting to bother me. That's about it though. Cramping has been more today I guess too. But I was feeling more symptoms when I first poased than I am now!  But I think I said it before though - maybe my body recognized the hcg at first and was like "WHOA what's this?!" And now it's like "oohhhh...mehhh". Also when I poased I was only 4 days caffeine free so I coulda had some withdrawal symptoms that I identified as preggo symptoms. Similarly, I quit caffeine AFTER my bfp with Kellen. So all that fogginess was WAY worse with him. 

Anyway, for the next couple of days, I'll be sitting tight, waiting for Friday and trying to focus on the positive things that I KNOW today. 1) there is a sac & 2) my good beta doubling rate is continuing. 

5w1d update

Yesterday I became 5 weeks pregnant!  That's assuming that the due date calculator is accurate which I'm not sure of since I had an FET. It should be close at least though.  For now, we are keeping the news on the down low at least until we jump over all the 1st trimester hoops. For now, just my family and hubby's family know and my boss (she's been really supportive throughout our journey). Our son knows too. He tells me every night that he wants to see the baby. We weren't planning on telling my hubby's family so soon but they were over the other day and he told them "I all growed up and momma has a baby in her belly"!  My hubby wanted to wait to tell them until we were further along but when my son said that to them I could not keep a poker face or brush it off. Lol!  

Anyway, outside of that, not much has been going on. We have our long weekend for the 4th. We had the option to go visit hubby's aunt on a lake but I'm just so so so tired. Also, hubby has a ton of stuff on his honey-do list;) so I think we're staying home and having a low-key 4th this year. Plus, the actual 4th is on a Monday and we have to go to work the day after and I have my ultrasound.  I really don't have too many symptoms other than being exhausted. At times I get crampy but for the most part, that seems to have subsided.  I'm trying to ignore the fact that I felt more at this point with Kellen.  Maybe I'm feeling the same but I'm more tolerant. Who knows. I'll feel better after Tuesday's ultrasound and beta check. My biggest complaint last couple days is a sore throat and cough that will not go away.  That might explain why I'm so tired too cuz it tends to flare up when I'm trying to sleep at night.