2nd beta result

Wellll I got the 2nd beta result earlier today. It's 168!!  That's a great doubling rate of 38.6 hours!  Next step is another beta check on Tuesday along with an ultrasound to check for the gestational sac. Wasn't expecting an ultrasound to be so soon!  I'm excited for this but nervous too in case they can't see anything. Plus, my current local clinic won't do pregnancy scans so I have to find another clinic. My OB won't see me until 8 weeks and I've called nearly all the fertility clinics in Indianapolis and none will do outside pregnancy monitoring. Ugghhh!  So there is an imaging facility that I might have to go to and I don't know if the techs there are trained to deal with pregnant patients who are only 5 weeks preggo. The sac is TINY at this stage so I'd think it could be easily missed. Well, I'll just have to see what happens I guess. But for now, I will celebrate that we have jumped over yet another hurdle toward having our 2nd child!

Beta result is in!

I finally got the call with my beta results about 1/2 hr after I initially called my nurse in NJ. The result is positive and beta is 71! Yay!  My progesterone and estrogen levels are also good and I am supposed to maintain my daily dosage (1ml shot of PIO and 2mg estrogen 2x per day). I need to take another beta on Wednesday to make sure my number is doubling the way it should. 

So now on to my psychosis. With Kellen, my beta was taken on 9dpt. My result was 146. With this pregnancy I'm at 10dpt and my beta is half that. So I'm a little down.  I just figured that since this embryo was already hatched, it would be producing hcg sooner and thus would be higher at beta day.  Even so, when I asked if this number was low, my nurse said that no, it was a good number and that the real number that counts is the one on Wednesday. Every embryo is different. But still - has me nervous and also has me wishing that I called in sick that day instead of today!  

On the plus side, I am reading that the FRERs have an hcg detection level of 6.5. I think the sensitivity has increased in the past 3yrs cuz I thought it was 25. Either that or Google was wrong in 2013. Anyway, my line on 5dpt was super light so my hcg level was probably close to that minimum level.  If you take that and plug in my results from today in to a beta doubling calculator, I get a doubling rate of 1.4 days or 33.9 hours which is pretty good. So hopefully my hcg just continues along the same clip. As long as the rate doubles within 2 days, I'm good. So shooting for a beta of 142 on Wednesday!!  But also trying to focus on the positive. Today I am pregnant!!

Waiting for beta

Well, it's 4pm and here I sit.  I had my beta today.  I took the earliest appointment they had at 8am in hopes that the results would be faxed sooner.  I was wrong.  Just found out my clinic here never sent the results to my clinic in NJ!!  AHHHHH!!!  So freaking annoying.  I can't even...I mean they know it's a beta, right??  So NOW I have to wait some more.  Thank God I asked my nurse if she received my results.  The clinic here closes at 4 so if I hadn't found out until later, I would've had to wait until tomorrow.  I was assured that they would fax over the results within 5-10 minutes.  I don't know what has to happen once they receive the results in NJ though.  The doc prolly has to review, if it's positive, provide a recommendation on progesterone/estrogen dosage.

Pee test update

I tested this morning and I got a line again. Still not as dark as it was yesterday morning but it's still a line. So ya, I guess the verdict is that I had a faulty test last night. UGH. That got me so worked up. I don't wanna test anymore and my hubby has said not to. But I'm still so nervous. I'd be better if my symptoms were stronger. Still feeling crampy but not queasy at all and my back pain went away.  I'm gonna try really hard to not test again though. I used up the last of my tests this morning so I'd have to go thru the trouble of going to store to get more. So I think I'm just gonna sit tight today and try to reassure myself with the line I got this morning. But ya the FRERs have let me down last night for sure!

Pee stick hell

Great. So I am worried sick right now. It's 1am. I'm so tired but I can't sleep. I took a test this morning (not fmu) and it was unmistakably positive. The darkest line yet. I go about my day. We went to a baseball game this evening in the blistering heat. Had to walk a mile there and back to our car. Exhausted since I'm so out of shape. Anyway, I take a test around 11pm. Just for reassurance to help me sleep. What do I see??  NOTHING!!  Not even a faint shadow of a line after waiting 10 minutes. W...T...F!!!  My stomach dropped and I felt sick.  OMG no!  No no no no... Feelings of horror and disbelief take over.  How could there be nothing when I had such a dark line just 12 hrs earlier??  

I wash up and try to go to bed but it's not working. So I get up again and feel like I need to pee so I take a test again. THIS time a faint line appears but it is so so very faint.  I have let it sit for about 1/2 hour and now the line is about as dark as yesterday's tests but nowhere near as dark as today's.  

So I'm going crazy. I am relieved that I now see a line at least. That first test I took at 11 has a line now too but it is barely anything. And it only extends halfway thru the window. My line from the very first test at 5dpt was way darker. So I donno if this was just a bunk test or what but it's worked me up a bit. Really wish my beta was tomorrow now!  I think I'll call in sick on Monday. Just can't deal with this at work. My symptoms have been weaker today too. But it could be that I've been so active and busy that I haven't felt them. 

Ahhh I just hate hate hate this uncertainty!  God, please just fast forward to next March so I know the outcome. 

To test or not to test... we have a 5dpt squinter!

Today I am 6dpt (days past transfer).  Since 4dpt I've been feeling some familiar feelings - cramping, lower back pain, mild queasiness in the morning, headaches.  All of these I had around the same time with Kellen.  I usually don't get queasy, lower back pain, or headaches in a normal cycle - cramping sure...but this is a different type of cramping.  It's more of a stretching and pulling cramping rather than dull menstrual cramping.  On the other hand though, I have quit drinking my daily cup of coffee starting on my day of transfer.  Monday & Tuesday I was feeling soooo incredibly weird and out of it - clearly caffeine withdrawal - so my symptoms could've been associated with the lack of coffee.  But still, I wasn't convinced.  I still had the "I feel like I just did crunches" feeling too.

So anyway, I was getting ready for work yesterday feeling sorta sick and thinking "can it be?  Am I preggo?"  I have looked at the embryo timeline many times within the past couple days but that timeline assumes that the blast had not hatched yet.  Mine was already hatched which means it can implant within a couple hours of transfer.  So that shortens the timeline by 1-2 days.  I got a bfp with Kellen on 7dpt so finally after lots of back and forth, I said "I'm just gonna do it!".  I whipped out a first response early result and really had to try hard to get enough pee on it (I didn't quite think that part through - I have pee sticks but they need to be peed on to work, duh!).  You're supposed to hold it in your pee stream for 5 seconds - I could barely get 3 seconds and those seconds only consisted of dribbling.  Lol.  I was pot-commited at that point though and didn't wanna waste the test so I tried to get as much as I could.  I set the test aside and went on getting ready while periodically checking it.  At first I didn't see anything but then when the 3 minute waiting period came, I saw a super faint shadow of a line!  No WAY!  It definitely was a squinter - but at the same time, it definitely was a line!  Some tests with the infamous blue ink are known to give false positives with "evaporation lines" that look like a shadow of a second line, but really they're not.  First Responses though rarely do that.  That's why in the IVF world, FRERs are the gold standard.  Plus you can test super early with them!

Once I saw a line, it got darker and darker.  Naturally I then took about 1/2 hour taking pics with my phone in different lighting, at different angles, against different backgrounds.  I was a nut-job!  No matter what I did, the faint line I was seeing was REALLY faint in the pictures.  Below is one of the pics I took.

It is so hard to see - but it is there!  So then I had to finish getting ready while being a bit emotional and had to get my son ready for daycare.  Needless to say, I was late to work! 

Yesterday evening I got home, peed on a stick, confirmed it was still positive (it was slightly darker too) and wrapped it up for my hubby as a late Father's Day present.  He was shocked and elated when he opened it up:)  He didn't realize I would know so early.  The benefit of a frozen cycle is that, though incredibly boring at first, once the transfer happens, it is really fast.  Whereas in a fresh IVF cycle you have the stimming/monitoring phase, retrieval, 5 day wait for blast development, transfer, and then a 10 day wait for beta.  So since we did an FET, things have seemed to have moved faster than other IVF cycles we've had. 

I've also POASed 2 more times today as well.  Here is the progression of those tests: 

Now that we do have 2 lines, we are still cautious of course.  The embryo is chromosomally normal though so that is on our side and cuts are chances of a chemical or miscarriage down by a lot, but even so, there are still a multitude of things that could go wrong and the embryo still could just not be strong enough to progress to the stage where the heart develops.  We have jumped over yet another hump though.  I will continue to test daily until my beta on Monday morning.  Hopefully I'll have fairly strong lines by then, will have stronger symptoms, and won't have to be nervous at work waiting for the call.  The real test is the 2nd beta though as that test determines the doubling rate which is the main indicator of viability at this stage.  Fingers crossed very very hard!  Thankfully we have a busy weekend coming up so it will be easy to distract myself.

For now though, on this day, I am pregnant - 3 weeks 4 days to be exact (if the FET calculator I'm using is correct!).  If all progresses well, my due date will be March 5th:)!

Transfer today

Well... I am PUPO!  Everything went well today. I went in for monitoring at 6am and all looked good. They called me later at around 10 to tell me to come in at 12:50 for transfer and to drink 10oz of water 10 minutes before coming. At that time I also signed up for laser acupuncture as it increases chances for implantation. 

So I drank my water and got there at 12:50. Then I proceeded to sit for 45 minutes!  Ugh!  By that time, I really had to pee. I asked them how much longer and if I could relieve my bladder a bit. They said "no, you have to wait. Should be soon."  Finally they brought me back but they would not let me pee until they looked at my bladder via ultrasound despite my pleas that I was too full. Pretty quickly they verified that yep, this girl's gonna pee herself! They let me remove 3/4 cup. Ah relief! 

After that, I had laser acupuncture. That was weird. This guy came in with a probe thingy, gave me sunglasses, and held the probe over various points - head, ears, uterus, knees, and feet. That took all of 5 minutes.  

Then came the transfer. The embryologist came in wheeling an incubator followed by the doctor and 2 nurses.  The doctor was not my doctor but another in the practice. They have 20 or so docs so they all rotate with the ER and ET procedures. That means I'll never meet my doc face to face, but that's really not very necessary. Anyway, the doctor gave me the picture of our embryo, said it was grade b, and got down to business. The transfer was literally a 5 minute procedure. They inserted the speculum, cleaned the cervix, inserted the catheter, and transferred the embryo. 

Then the acupuncturist came in again for another session of laser acupuncture. Again with the sunglasses and probe. It was weird again - I just don't see how it would make any difference but whatever. 

So now begins the 2ww. Beta is 6/27. I'm thinking I'll probably start testing on the 24th or 25th.

ET tomorrow

As I write this, I am sitting at the airport waiting for my flight. I had monitoring yesterday and they determined that I was fine to have my transfer on Friday.  So off I go to NJ!  

I have to go in super early tomorrow morning at 6am to verify one last time that all the ducks are lined up. Then I wait for a call around noon for them to tell me when to come in. I am getting laser acupuncture done before and after transfer so I may need to go in earlier...I donno though. Maybe not. Anyway, so this time tomorrow I'll be getting ready to go in hopefully. 

Very excited to get this embryo back where it belongs!!

Possible transfer this week

I haven't posted an update in awhile.  Mostly due to the fact that things have either been incredibly uneventful or very unknown. Last Wednesday I went in for monitoring. I was told to plan for a tentative transfer date of 6/21 but don't book travel yet as that may change. They said they'd know more after I got monitored on Friday. Went in on Friday. My doc (yes my actual doc - not my nurse(!)) called that afternoon. He said it looked like I was ready to ovulate which shouldn't happen. After a brief, mostly one-sided conversation as I was at work, he recommended that we bump up the transfer date to 6/17.  The other option was that I take ganirelix to put off ovulation for a couple days and still come in on 6/21. Problem with that though was it was late Friday afternoon and I don't know of specialty pharmacies around here where I could get ganirelix (can't just go to cvs for that med!). My local clinic would've known but they were closed for the day and don't answer the phones on the weekend.  So doc bumped up the transfer to 6/17 and said a nurse would be contacting me shortly regarding further instructions involving starting progesterone shots on 6/12 (Sunday). I am to go in for 1 more local monitoring session tomorrow and again at 6am Friday morning the day of transfer. 

So all was set. I went home that night and bought plane tickets to Newark for Thursday. But then I started getting ovulation pains on my left side and they continued thru Saturday morning. Back when I was charting my temps, I always got ovarian cramping after my temp spike (aka ovulation). I still regularly get those pains right around my ovulation time. So then I started to worry. What if I ovulated too early for the current timeline?  Shouldn't I start progesterone sooner??  Or maybe I should just cancel since my system is supposed to be suppressed anyway.  I want this embryo back asap but I also want to give this the best shot that I can since we won't be doing this again.

So I called my clinic's after hours line on Saturday morning. I got a call back pretty quickly and spoke with a sour, impatient nurse who acted like I was crazy to ask if I should cancel. The nurse said that my self diagnosis of ovulation wasn't a definitive indication of when it occurred or if it even HAD occurred.  Eventually she seemed to calm down and elaborate a bit in order to address my concerns. So in essence, what I finally got out of that call was that ovulation or not, I should still be ok and continue meds as planned. My monitoring appointment on Wednesday will validate that the transfer can move forward or if it should be cancelled. 

For now I guess I just wait til tomorrow. I'm working at home tomorrow so when I get the call I'll be able to ask more direct questions to make sure conditions are favorable for this to work.  Hopefully I will get all the reassurance I need to move forward with transfer on Friday. 

FET cycle start

A quick update - I had my baseline appointment on Tuesday - bloodwork and ultrasound. Everything looked good and I started estrace that evening. Starting an FET cycle is a lot less eventful than starting a fresh IVF cycle. Instead of shooting up every night, all I do is take a dainty little pill twice a day.  So it's pretty boring. I up my dose on Saturday to 2 pills twice a day and then go back on Wednesday to see how things are progressing. I really wish I had a clue as to when the transfer would happen. Hopefully on Wednesday they can give me an idea. I have to book a flight, hotel, rent a car, etc. Would like to get that done sooner than later!  It will probably be just me going out to NJ this time. My hubby recently got a job offer and starts working on the 13th. This is such a huge weight off our shoulders now that he will have a job!  So now I don't have to fret over the possibility that I'll have to book the trip at the last minute and incur extra costs. Of course extra costs are undesirable but at least we don't have to worry about how to pay for everything. And actually, our trip out to NJ for the ER was a lot cheaper than I anticipated so there is a bit of fluff that we have to work with to stay within our budget. 

I'm getting pretty antsy to get the transfer over with. Knowing we have an excellent embryo sleeping in a freezer makes me wish that it was in me already. All in due time I suppose.  Anxious about whether or not it will work, scared that it won't, making subtle preparations in case it does work (i.e.: I dyed my hair today).  I'm at the point where I really just need this to be over and either move on with a pregnancy or not.