What I have learned post-partum...

...4 months is not a long time but we have learned so much in that small period. Those first weeks were filled with trial and error, testing out tips that I read about in books and online, and general cluelessness. Some tips/methods worked for me, others did not. Every mom and baby are different I guess. Most things we figured out on our own as we got to know our baby. Here's what I wish I knew before birth:

Breastfeeding/Pumping/Bottle feeding:

• Despite what the lactation consultants suggest in the hospital, I don't need 500 pillows in order to nurse; just need my boppy, a pillow behind my back and a good foot stool/rest.
• Use the dishwasher if possible to wash bottles. Handwashing is a PAIN!
• We turned a corner once a small amount of rice cereal was added to breastmilk. But there are drawbacks - know the risks before doing it.
• Soothies gel pads are really soothing.
• Lanolin is hard to put on and encourages yeast.
• Motherlove nipple cream is great but hard to find.
• Olive oil is a good substitute when you're out of cream.
• Coconut oil on flanges feels great while pumping and reduces friction.
• Clean valves, connectors, and membranes once per day - do suggest cleaning flanges after each pump though. Put parts in ziploc bag and store in fridge until next pump session.
• Get a good app to track everything. Do not rely on your memory which is running on low power due to lack of sleep! I use The First Years to track feeding, sleeping, diapers, etc and Milk Maid to keep track of freezer stash and pumping output.
• Freezer stash takes up a lot of room. I only have 4 weeks worth and had to buy a deep freezer to store it all because it was taking over our kitchen freezer.
• If nursing doesn't work at first, be persistent and make an attempt once per day. As baby gets bigger and stronger he may catch on.
• Get a hands free pump bra!
• Pumping pals flanges are really worth it.
• Breast pads prevent leaks and make nips feel better.
• Get the lansinoh heat/cold pack for inevitable soreness and clogs.
• Do not wait to pump/breastfeed! Clogs and engorgement really sucks!

Baby care:

• When putting on a new diaper always point the willy down!
• Sensitive wipes and diapers are worth it. Our baby gets rashes when we use regular wipes and diapers.
• Babies like baths AND lotion.
• Gas drops are a life saver and can be used at every feeding.
• There is no such thing as too many burp cloths.
• Be sure to wipe UNDER balls too!
• Must have wash/burp cloth on willy during changes especially if willy looks unusually large (pee boner)!
• We have rarely used receiving blankets - in the beginning, yes for swaddling. Perhaps we will use them more in the warmer months while nursing.
• Mittens just get wet from being in baby's mouth.
• Let music play often.
• Bouncers and swings are great. Put baby in one while you shower or do misc chores.
• Mom truly knows best and don't let others tell you otherwise (unless you are asking for advice).

Sleeping:

• Move baby to his own crib only when you and baby are ready.
• Do not keep baby in the living room with you until wee hours of morning even if all you want to do is quietly gaze at him in wonder. Baby needs quiet and specific bed for sleeping at night to distinguish between night and day. It is more important for both you and baby to get good restful sleep. You have 18 years to gaze at him sleeping!
• Trust the baby monitor.
• Stick to the same wake time in the morning and same bedtime at night. Naps during the rest of the day will work themselves out.

My recovery:

• I was wearing maxi pads well in to 7w pp (mostly for cushioning - partly for pee). Just stopped wearing pantiliners at 10w pp - still dribble though:(
• Girdles and hip shrinks are not worth it. They are too uncomfortable and hurt too much in the beginning with my stitches.
• Do not have a to do list for your leave. Not worth it to feel guilty over things you didn't accomplish. More important to bond with baby, get sleep, and recover from childbirth!
• Let spouse help with baby care, feeding, even household chores.
• Expect hormones to make you crazy.
• Accept/ask for help.
• Have a freezer full of dinners.
• Take the painkillers if prescribed. Don't be a tough guy or a martyr. They really help.
• Try to get outside daily or at least sit by a window.
• Daily showers do help, but do not feel bad if you skip a day or two here and there.
• Turn off phone, computer, tv and nap when baby naps!!
• Start working out as soon as doc says it's ok but take it easy and don't put too much pressure on yourself.
• No one/thing can get close to my nipples other than Kellen's mouth and my nursing pads that doesn't make me wince in pain.
• I am no longer jealous of women with big boobs. I want my normal ones back!
• Do not get impatient for the first post partum bowel movement and take too many stool softeners!

General Observations:

• Turn down tv volume. Limit amount of time it is on and do not put baby too close - way too stimulating.
• Dog has more grey hair on her snout now:(
• Read baby-care books but keep in mind that nothing happens "by the book" in real life. Do not get upset if things are not going "by the book". If you rely on your own instincts, you and baby will be fine.
• Take forums and google with a grain of salt. Rely on opinions/advice of people you actually know.
• Take as much leave from work as possible.
• Take a lot of pictures and videos.
• Put down the iPhone/iPad and engage with your baby. From day one, he is learning new things (especially your face) and needs your undivided attention.
• Make a small investment in a warm fluffy robe and big slippers for middle of the night and early morning feedings.
• Washable slipcovers on couch are a must. Having a color that matches spitup is a plus.

The first 24 hours postpartum

It is shocking how long it took me to post this!  Better late than never....

After all the hustle and bustle associated with delivering Kellen was over, we had time to catch our breath and had some alone time just the 3 of us.  I tried to feed him - seemed to go okay but didn't really know what I was doing.  There was a nurse shift change just after I delivered Kellen and now the focus was monitoring both baby and I post-delivery.  This nurse was very nice but she was kind of a spaz and scatterbrained.  No matter though really.  She was nice and that's all that really mattered to me. She tried to help with the first nursing session.  It was super awkward because she was roughly stuffing a lot of my boob into Kellen's mouth.  His mouth was so tiny and my nipple could barely fit in his mouth though so the nurse's efforts didn't really pay off.  We just made do with what Kellen could latch on to.  It hurt pretty bad though. Outside of that, Kellen was recovering from delivery really well.  He was rosy complexioned, was breathing well, and did not complain about anything.  He passed his first meconium stool that night if I recall correctly.  The majority of the time that we spent with him that day was done with either me or hubby holding Kellen skin-to-skin and letting him get his rest.

After the first feeding, our parents came in to meet their grandson.  Kellen is the first grandchild on both sides so there was much anticipation leading up to his birth. They had been in the waiting room all morning and afternoon.  I can't imagine how antsy they must of been!  Not to mention worried too since they basically didn't hear anything from us for 4+ hours!  We had told them to come to the hospital that morning since I was fully dilated and getting ready to push - but little did we know that it would be 3.5 long hours of pushing and 1-2 hours of cleaning/stitching me up after delivery!  So our parents came in and there were lots of tears and "awwws" exchanged.  Kellen was passed around to each of them and lots of pictures were taken.  Thru all that Kellen never made a peep.  He had his eyes open briefly but that was all he had the energy for.  The nurse came in while they were there to give Kellen a shot of some sort (I'm definitely not one of those mom's who is going to keep a running tally of every shot and pin-prick that her son has ever had - that's what the nurses and doctors are for!).  The nurse took the baby and everyone let out a muffled gasp when she seemed to carry him to his bassinet by his neck!  Ugh.  Kellen seemed fine though.  I guess when you are around babies all day you realize that they aren't that fragile after all - but still!  Holding him by the most delicate part of his little body did not seem like a good idea.  Then the nurse gave him the shot and he let out a high-pitched wail.  That was all I could take - get that devil nurse outta here and give my baby back to me!  She left soon enough and Kellen was comforted by everyone as he went back to sleep.  Our parents left soon after that to let me and hubby get some rest too.

For the first few hours after delivery my attention was focused on everything but my own recovery despite the fact that I was the one who had the most recovering to do.  After all the excitement, emotions, and endorphins coursing thru my veins eased up a bit, I realized that I had a long road in front of me.  About an hour after delivery I guzzled down a large amount of apple juice.  I had not had anything to eat or drink (besides for ice chips) since the day before and this apple juice was the best thing I had ever tasted!  The nurse told me to slow down and sure enough 15 minutes later I puked it all up:(  I had a pretty severe case of puking and then dry heaving too - but it was over soon enough and was feeling better not long after that.  Besides for that, I thought I was recovering ok but was definitely starting to feel the pain of childbirth.

A couple hours passed by and I decided I wanted to go to the bathroom.  I didn't really have to go - I just had an urge to get out of bed and see what would come out (I had heard some terrible stories about the first bathroom trip - lots of blood, etc).  Since I had an epidural, 2 nurses needed to accompany me for my first trip.  I called them in, the nurses arrived, fastened a belt around my waist in case my legs wouldn't hold my weight and we started on the 10 foot trip to the bathroom.  It went ok.  I could feel some gushing of fluid coming out when I initially stood up, but nothing alarming and I had a towel between my legs so I didn't make a mess on the floor.  My legs seemed to be ok and while I was really sore, it wasn't too bad.  I got on the toilet, peed, and proceeded to clean myself up.  I was really bloody down there, but like I said, I was expecting this.  The spazy nurse was talking really fast to me - about what I have no idea.  I think she was explaining all the steps I had to take to heal the 3rd degree tear on my perineum. She was talking about ice packs, pads, ointment, etc.  I wished she would shut up - the sound of her voice was starting to wig me out.  I was looking down at my hoohaa still cleaning and I started to see spots, heard ringing and "wha-whaas" in my ears, and started sweating profusely.  "Ugghhhh - I think I'm gonna faint..." - then the spazy nurse started really spazing and called in a bunch of other nurses.  I don't remember what happened next - just remember my nurse barking orders at the other nurses and somehow I made it back to bed I think in a wheelchair (?).  Someone gave me something to sniff along the way and it perked me up a bit.  I laid back down, got my IV and blood pressure monitor hooked up again.  My blood pressure was really low (surprise surprise) and I started violently shivering.  Hubby was rubbing my arms to warm me up and the nurses were piling warm blankets on top of me.  They flattened the incline of the bed and tilted my head toward the floor to get blood to flow back to my head.  I stayed this way for awhile.  Eventually I stopped shaking and started to feel better and was tilted back up.  My nurse told me that my near-fainting episode resulted from a combination of lack of sleep, having nothing in my stomach all day, and the amount of energy I exerted during delivery.  She said I should take a nap and then eat something - in that order.  So I asked her to take Kellen to the nursery so I wouldn't have any distractions and I took a nice long 4 hour nap.  When I woke it was 11pm and the nurse wheeled Kellen back in to our room for a midnight snack.  Hubby had ordered food while I was sleeping and I ate after I nursed the baby.  I was feeling 100% better - almost normal.  It's amazing what food and sleep can do for a body.  I went back to sleep after that & the nurse got me up every 3 hours during the night to remind me to nurse Kellen.

The next morning brought another nurse shift change.  This nurse was nice and she talked to me a lot about healing myself without being so spazy like the nurse before her.  She showed me what my routine will be for the next day or 2 - the giant diapers made a comeback and at every trip to the bathroom I was to change out the diaper and the ice pack (this was a baby diaper stuffed with ice chips), squirt warm water on perineum, add tucks medicated wipes to ice pack, squirt epi cream on top of wipes and carefully pull underwear up.  I was still wearing the super fashionable fishnet hospital underwear since I was still oozing and didn't want to destroy my own underwear.  It was really hard to walk around with all this stuff in my pants - no playing tennis or anything - I was waddling more now than I was when I was pregnant!  But anyway this was going to be my routine for the next couple weeks or so too - with the exception of the ice pack.  They told me to stop wearing that after 2 days post partum.  I also started my pain meds (vicodin I think) and an amped up dose of Aleve.  This combo was great at managing my pain.  Kellen was still an angel and snoozed most of the day.  His pediatrician visited that morning and gave him a clean bill of health.  The nurse brought Kellen to the nursery a couple times times for health checks - one of these times the OB did his circumcision which went very well they said.

We tried nursing again too.  Every 3 hours was when I would feed him.  This was still a challenge coupled with the fact that in the beginning, mothers don't produce much milk anyway - just colostrum which comes out at a rate of 1 tsp per feeding or something like that.  So you just can't tell if the baby is getting anything or not.  Nursing just really hurt though and for some reason, anything that hurt my nipples also hurt my perineum.  Some sort of chain reaction of sorts.  Multiple lactation consultants visited throughout my stay at the hospital and they recommended that I use a nipple shield which took my giant nipples which were sort of flat and molded them in to a better shape for Kellen to latch on to but I still didn't have a good grasp on it at all when we left the hospital.  They did provide valuable tips and encouragement but they were saying that Kellen might have tongue-tie and was a "lazy eater".  Tongue tie is when the cartilage that connects the bottom of the tongue to the mouth is too tight limiting mobility and sometimes prevents the tongue from extending out of the mouth.  This causes nursing problems since babies with tongue tie can't generate a very strong suck reflex.  It can also lead to speech and eating problems later in life.  We said we would get it checked out at Kellen's next doctor appointment.  Apparently it is easy to clip the tongue tie.

So this takes me up to the first 24 hours.  It's amazing how much happened in those first 24 hours of Kellen's life.  For the most part we were still basking in the realization that we were a mother and father FINALLY and we just couldn't get over how beautiful our son was!!  We were fools in love again... only this time it was Kellen that we had fallen for:)  There is so much more to report of course and I am way behind but I'll try to post it all eventually!