This deadline at work is KILLING me! Ugh. What a week to have a deadline in the midst of stimming. Almost broke down in tears today I'm so hormonal:(.
Had first scan today. Have 14 follies sizes 5-14. Nurse said it was very good. But she called later and left voicemail to say that I should not stim tonite cuz my estrogen level is rising fast. Sorta have mixed feelings about this. Nervous I might be over stimming but glad I'm responding with minimal discomfort so far. Have a followup scan tomorrow. We'll see how I am tomorrow.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
Day 4 of stims
I have my first monitoring appointment on Wednesday. Aside from the headaches, not feeling too much. I'm on day 4 of stims and thought I would be feeling more than I am. I feel a bit 'full' and crampy. But nothing bad at all. It's good but makes me paranoid that I'm not responding. Oh well, will just have to wait for Wednesday.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Day 2 of stims
My first day of stimming went well. I took about 15 minutes to load up the first shot. LOL! Just wanted to do it right. I have the follistim pen so it took some getting used to. No side effects or anything yet. Just feel sort of full in the ovarian region. I always feel my ovaries when I get close to ovulation so I imagine I'll start to feel them soon. I go for my 1st monitoring appointment on Halloween.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Start cycle appointment
Had my start cycle appointment yesterday. Estrogen and ultrasound were good so I'm starting follistim Friday morning! It'll be 1 shot in the morning, 1 at night, and 1 shot of lupron at night as well. I am going to run out of places to stick myself! LOL! I think I'll start injecting the lupron into my outer thigh instead of my tummy once I start stimming. I start monitoring next wednesday on Halloween. They'll see how I respond and it may be possible to have egg retrieval on the 6th or 7th! YAY! Things are picking up... finally!!!
Monday, October 22, 2012
Appointment tomorrow
Going in to RE tomorrow to get baseline ultrasound and bloodwork and FSH injection instructions. Have a feeling I'll be starting to stim on Thursday!! YAY!!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Meditation Apps
Regarding meditation, I have tried a couple apps but the apps I like the most are Brainwave Zen Meditation and take a break by Meditation Oasis. The Brainwave one is my fav - I can't explain the science behind it but the app uses different tones and frequencies to put your brain in a meditative state without you "trying" to. Perfect if you are like me and can't "turn off your head"! You can mask the tones (b/c they sound kinda wierd) with music, nature sounds, etc that come with the app. I can get really relaxed with this one though and you can choose the time that you want to meditate for. I usually do 10 - 20 minutes. The other one is good too and is a guided meditation with a woman's voice guiding you thru relaxing. There is a 7 minute and 13 minute option. When I do it I use the 13 minute one. Hope these help! There are oodles of apps out there! I also have random meditative music on my phone too that I listen to when I get too frenzied.
I call my RE tomorrow to set my start cycle appointment! Then will know when I start stimming.
I call my RE tomorrow to set my start cycle appointment! Then will know when I start stimming.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Acupuncture & meditation
Ugh - have been so busy last couple days. Haven't had a chance to post! The upside of telling work about my upcoming IVF procedure is that I don't have to stress about taking the time off that i need - but the downside is that they are putting a ton of pressure on me to get stuff done before I need to start daily monitoring and am out for egg retrieval and embryo transfer:( Oh well!
Something I am doing this cycle is acupuncture. My insurance will cover 70% of the cost as long as the acupuncturist codes it as 'pain management'. I do really believe in the benefits though. I was complaining to her about why my period was so late during my appointment yesterday afternoon. Since I didn't really have any Lupron side effects to counteract she customized my treatment to focus on getting my period to show and low and behold, she came last night. So I'm a believer! I am going to do 1 treatment next week, 2 the following week when my stimming and monitoring picks up, then 1 before egg retrieval and 1 before embryo transfer. After embryo transfer I'll go in as needed for stress reduction during 2 week wait. The office is right across the hall from my RE and they will coordinate my treatments with my appointments with RE - so it's very convenient for me.
Other things I'm doing are daily meditation - just 10 minutes at lunchtime (I get no privacy in the office so I have to go to my car to do this - definitely makes it harder to stay diligent with though). I have several free apps on my iphone for this. I am taking daily 45 minute walks with my dog. So far I'm getting the same benefits in stress reduction that my typical strenuous workouts gave me before - just unfortunately don't get as much of a calorie burn so I have put on a couple pounds, but it has leveled off. I'm taking vitamins (prenatal, DHA, CoQ10, vit E & C, calcium) and baby aspirin. Can't think of anything else! Just really focusing on staying stressfree. Also thinking about funny movies to watch after transfer. There was some study that was done with women who went to comedy clubs after transfer. They had higher implantation rates. Worth a shot - and who doesn't like to laugh anyway?:D
So last couple days I've been continuing with Lupron, patiently waiting for my period to show herself. She was 3 days late, finally showing up late last night. Now I can finally call my RE on Monday (they are closed on the weekends) and schedule my start cycle appointment, get my Follistim teaching done, and get some better dates to think about!
Something I am doing this cycle is acupuncture. My insurance will cover 70% of the cost as long as the acupuncturist codes it as 'pain management'. I do really believe in the benefits though. I was complaining to her about why my period was so late during my appointment yesterday afternoon. Since I didn't really have any Lupron side effects to counteract she customized my treatment to focus on getting my period to show and low and behold, she came last night. So I'm a believer! I am going to do 1 treatment next week, 2 the following week when my stimming and monitoring picks up, then 1 before egg retrieval and 1 before embryo transfer. After embryo transfer I'll go in as needed for stress reduction during 2 week wait. The office is right across the hall from my RE and they will coordinate my treatments with my appointments with RE - so it's very convenient for me.
Other things I'm doing are daily meditation - just 10 minutes at lunchtime (I get no privacy in the office so I have to go to my car to do this - definitely makes it harder to stay diligent with though). I have several free apps on my iphone for this. I am taking daily 45 minute walks with my dog. So far I'm getting the same benefits in stress reduction that my typical strenuous workouts gave me before - just unfortunately don't get as much of a calorie burn so I have put on a couple pounds, but it has leveled off. I'm taking vitamins (prenatal, DHA, CoQ10, vit E & C, calcium) and baby aspirin. Can't think of anything else! Just really focusing on staying stressfree. Also thinking about funny movies to watch after transfer. There was some study that was done with women who went to comedy clubs after transfer. They had higher implantation rates. Worth a shot - and who doesn't like to laugh anyway?:D
So last couple days I've been continuing with Lupron, patiently waiting for my period to show herself. She was 3 days late, finally showing up late last night. Now I can finally call my RE on Monday (they are closed on the weekends) and schedule my start cycle appointment, get my Follistim teaching done, and get some better dates to think about!
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Lupron going well!
First 2 shots of lupron have gone well! Didn't even feel the shot. Not noticing anything different regarding side effects except I seem to get really thirsty more than usual and have had some night sweats. But no big deal at all!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Meds are here!
I start my first Lupron injections tomorrow! Eek! Getting nervous!
I've got all my meds ready though!
I've got all my meds ready though!
Monday, October 8, 2012
It's getting real
Not much going on but my meds are due to
arrive Wednesday! I think it'll really hit me then that we are actually doing
this.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Obsessions
Hoping that I will get my meds in the next couple days. Starting Lupron on Friday and want to go over everything in my typical overly-obsessive way!
Speaking of obsessions, typically I am obsessive with planning my exercise program - I end up doing only about 50% of what I plan to do due to my delusions of grandeur, but it's enough to keep me in pretty good shape. But I am dealing with the guilt of not exercising right now. I am flip-flopping on whether or not I should exercise up to when I start stimming. Today my decision is to ease down drastically. But yesterday, it was the opposite - to workout as usual right up to stimming mainly to keep my mind occupied. But today I'm thinking that if I do get into a workout routine for the next 2 weeks and then have to stop - what is the point of starting right now? I might as well get my body used to the inactivity now instead of later. I do not have any goal right now - I definitely feel like a flabby slob, but really don't have much weight to loose. And I am not going to firm up that much in a matter of only 2 weeks. So yes, my stance today is to simply stick with walking the dog 30-45 minutes per day. When I browse through the forums on BBC and FF, I read similar things. Excessive exercise may cause inflamation as well and draws blood flow away from the uterus - which I guess you don't want when TTC because it prevents a nice thick lining from developing. I'll still get the stress-relieving benefits without any of the risk for injury or risk that comes with high-impact exercise. I am still having guilt about it though! There will be plenty of time to work it off later though (hopefully in another 9+ months;).
Speaking of obsessions, typically I am obsessive with planning my exercise program - I end up doing only about 50% of what I plan to do due to my delusions of grandeur, but it's enough to keep me in pretty good shape. But I am dealing with the guilt of not exercising right now. I am flip-flopping on whether or not I should exercise up to when I start stimming. Today my decision is to ease down drastically. But yesterday, it was the opposite - to workout as usual right up to stimming mainly to keep my mind occupied. But today I'm thinking that if I do get into a workout routine for the next 2 weeks and then have to stop - what is the point of starting right now? I might as well get my body used to the inactivity now instead of later. I do not have any goal right now - I definitely feel like a flabby slob, but really don't have much weight to loose. And I am not going to firm up that much in a matter of only 2 weeks. So yes, my stance today is to simply stick with walking the dog 30-45 minutes per day. When I browse through the forums on BBC and FF, I read similar things. Excessive exercise may cause inflamation as well and draws blood flow away from the uterus - which I guess you don't want when TTC because it prevents a nice thick lining from developing. I'll still get the stress-relieving benefits without any of the risk for injury or risk that comes with high-impact exercise. I am still having guilt about it though! There will be plenty of time to work it off later though (hopefully in another 9+ months;).
PMS!
I think I ovulated last Thursday and am on
the back end of my cycle so that means I'm getting the typical moodiness that I
always get in week 3 and 4 of my cycle. Had to talk to my cell phone provider
this morning regarding a billing error and had to hang up because I was getting
too mad - not normal for me, hormones are raging and this is all me - no
injections yet! LOL, My hubby is in for a long ride I think. Can't wait for my
acupuncture to start up again next Friday. It helps so much with the PMS I
think.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Stalking my pharmacy
I have been stalking my health plans
website to see when they will be shipping my meds. Still no word and just shows
that my order has been 'processing' for the past 4 days. Perhaps I am being
overly obsessive but I am supposed to be starting next Friday and wanna make
sure I get everything on time! Time will tell I guess - I'm sure it'll be fine.
Just anxious to get this show on the road already!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
No flu shot for me
People around here are dropping like flies.
Don't know if it's the flu or not - seems too early but makes me nervous b/c
when I was getting my annual check up last week with my primary care doc, she
advised against the flu shot this season since I was going to be doing IVF.
Something about it being within 30 days of your cycle affects implantation or
something. I figured I'd take her advice but now am getting paranoid. I
see lots of hand washing in my future!
Monday, October 1, 2012
Our Background
Thanks for visiting! We've been dealing with infertility since February 2011 but this day is the official start of our IVF journey.
My husband and I will be doing our first cycle Oct/Nov 2012. I am starting Lupron Oct 12th and continuing until my period arrives. I will not be on birth control pills so exact dates are unknown at this point but I will probably will start stiming the week of the 22nd. Had 'kickoff' meeting this morning to go over Lupron injections. Was expecting the needle to be much bigger - but it's just a little needle - so I'm feeling more excited than nervous at this point! It's been a long road of waiting and waiting and waiting.
A bit of background - my husband and I married April 2010 and immediately began trying to conceive (TTC). By November I 'knew' that something was wrong and we got checked out. I did bloodwork, hubby got a semen analysis. I came back with out of whack hormones and a blocked tube (FSH level was okay though). Hubby came back with sperm quality issues. We were referred to a reproductive endocrinologist for me and a urologist for my husband who retested and found similar numbers - but no hormone or genetic issues for him, which was good but basically meant that there was nothing that could be done to improve his numbers other than improved diet and better lifestyle. I was put on clomid but did not respond well at all. With my hormone issues and blocked tube, we were told I would need injectible drugs in order to ovulate well enough to conceive. But an IUI cycle would be pointless due my blocked tube and husband's morph number. Plus the cost of injectible medications that I would need in order to go thru an IUI cycle would be very expensive. IVF would cost the same with our insurance (because the drugs are covered differently) and would give us a bigger bang-for-our-buck. So we started to make the preparations to go thru our first cycle June 2011, but were just not ready emotionally. The stress of the infertility diagnosis was still weighing us down and we needed to take a break and refocus.
So a year later and here we are! Finally felt that we were ready this summer so met with the doc to get started. Spent Sept getting retested - doc has given us the green light. Were pleasantly surprised by hubby's new numbers - count is normal now. Morph is still bad though - hence the IVF.
I am going to be doing acupuncture in conjunction with IVF cycle - have done a couple sessions already and it is just so relaxing. It is pricey but luckily my insurance will pick up 70% of the cost and flexible spending will pick up the rest.
My husband and I will be doing our first cycle Oct/Nov 2012. I am starting Lupron Oct 12th and continuing until my period arrives. I will not be on birth control pills so exact dates are unknown at this point but I will probably will start stiming the week of the 22nd. Had 'kickoff' meeting this morning to go over Lupron injections. Was expecting the needle to be much bigger - but it's just a little needle - so I'm feeling more excited than nervous at this point! It's been a long road of waiting and waiting and waiting.
A bit of background - my husband and I married April 2010 and immediately began trying to conceive (TTC). By November I 'knew' that something was wrong and we got checked out. I did bloodwork, hubby got a semen analysis. I came back with out of whack hormones and a blocked tube (FSH level was okay though). Hubby came back with sperm quality issues. We were referred to a reproductive endocrinologist for me and a urologist for my husband who retested and found similar numbers - but no hormone or genetic issues for him, which was good but basically meant that there was nothing that could be done to improve his numbers other than improved diet and better lifestyle. I was put on clomid but did not respond well at all. With my hormone issues and blocked tube, we were told I would need injectible drugs in order to ovulate well enough to conceive. But an IUI cycle would be pointless due my blocked tube and husband's morph number. Plus the cost of injectible medications that I would need in order to go thru an IUI cycle would be very expensive. IVF would cost the same with our insurance (because the drugs are covered differently) and would give us a bigger bang-for-our-buck. So we started to make the preparations to go thru our first cycle June 2011, but were just not ready emotionally. The stress of the infertility diagnosis was still weighing us down and we needed to take a break and refocus.
So a year later and here we are! Finally felt that we were ready this summer so met with the doc to get started. Spent Sept getting retested - doc has given us the green light. Were pleasantly surprised by hubby's new numbers - count is normal now. Morph is still bad though - hence the IVF.
I am going to be doing acupuncture in conjunction with IVF cycle - have done a couple sessions already and it is just so relaxing. It is pricey but luckily my insurance will pick up 70% of the cost and flexible spending will pick up the rest.
Infertility Poem
I have longed and waited
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life. Yes, I will be a wonderful mother!
~Author Unknown
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life. Yes, I will be a wonderful mother!
~Author Unknown
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